Yoga, Skin & Random Thoughts

Yoga
I've been pretty faithful to my morning yoga.  I'm doing it at least 3 times a week.  Of course, it has only been a couple of weeks, so I guess I should wait a few before I get too impressed with myself.  I can't believe something that takes the roughly the equivalent of two hits of the snooze button is doing so much for me.  It is getting easier and easier to "make" myself get up and do it.

I did a harder session today.  I have been doing this yoga show on & off for a few years.  This is an episode that I tried once, but in the past, I would skip it because I had to modify too many of the moves.  First, you are asked to crouch with your feet flat.  Before, when I would crouch, I had to raise my heels...I literally couldn't make my feet flat to the floor.  Today I did!  Another move in the episode is (from the crouch) to roll back onto your butt and swing your feet over your head so your hips are in the air and your feet are touching the floor behind your head.  Before, I had to get out of the crouch pose and sit down.  Then put my legs in the air, but I didn't really get my hips up.  Today, I was able to roll back and swing my feet up with my hips in the air.  I wasn't able to get my feet back far enough to touch the floor behind me, so I have room to improve...but I'm definitely making progress!  The last one where I noticed a difference was (from this pose) when we roll back up to our feet.  Before I just had to stand up, then lean over.  Today, I had to kind of stick my foot out to brace myself, but for the most part, I was able to roll up in one motion.  All in all, I'm feeling quite proud and ready to continue the challenge!!

Skin
This weekend I bought some Nivea Firming Mousturizing Lotion for my saggy skin.  I actually think I'm noticing a difference.  I have been applying it faithfully twice a day and my arms and belly in particular seem to be firming a little.  It wasn't very expensive, so I think it is worth it.

Random thoughts

• I'm wearing heels for the third day in a row with no ill effects on my feet.  Additionally, I did high impact aerobics on Monday and ran yesterday...and still don't have any feet issues.  Love it!
• I find that I'm taking a few more fashion risks.  Not real risks.  Ha!  But small ones.  Like today, I'm mixing prints.  Also, I'm taking a lot of care to work in accessories (including my new robot necklace.  Yes, I said robot.) and different shoes.  I have all these cute things and I end up wearing the same things ALL the time.  I have pictures of the outfit, shoes & necklace below.
• I caught a glimpse of myself this morning in my mirror and I liked what I saw.  I didn't feel fat.  I felt normal.  Those moments are becoming more frequent and lasting longer.  It gives me hope that I will live outside my head someday.  :)
• I'm going to work out 3 times today and I'm not even worried about it.  Wow.  Times sure have changed.

3rd Day in 3" heels with no foot pain!

Robot Necklace...



Mixing patterns and feeling good.  :)

 HUGS!

Recipes requested.

I'm getting back into a cooking groove and I'm looking for good recipes.  Can you please post your favorite for me?  I am willing to try just about anything, especially if it is easy.

My favorite things right now are slow cooker recipes and/or things that make great leftovers.  I'm bringing my lunch to work more now that I'm working out at lunchtime.  I prefer to bring good homemade leftovers if I have them.

My favorite things I have made lately are Tori's Tortilla Soup and Laura Belle's Slow Cooker Chicken Tacos.  I would LOVE some more ideas!!

Thanks & hugs!

What is it that I want?

Yesterday's post really started me thinking.  I know...dangerous!  But I spent a lot of time yesterday really focusing in on what it is that I really want.  Why did I do this?  What did I expect to gain (or lose) from it?  Am I on the right path? 

I obviously had LapBand surgery because I wanted to lose weight.  But why?

1. Health reasons top the list.
2. Look better.
3. Feel more comfortable in my own skin.
4. Feel more in control.
5. Stop letting weight dictate my life choices.

A quick look at this list tells me that my top 5 reasons for doing this has nothing to do with a specific number on the scale or size.  Things are rarely that black or white and it is important to look at the abstract.

1.  Health.  I've covered this some lately, but my health has DRASTICALLY improved.  My sleep apnea is gone and I no longer sleep with my CPAP.  YAY!  My blood pressure is below normal.  My back and feet rarely hurt even with A LOT of exercise and when they do, they heal quickly.  The only things I'm battling at the moment are high sugars, high cholesterol & low B-12.  I have started taking B12 supplements so that should get better.  I'm not sure that I can modify my diet much more than I do now, so I will have to rely on my doc to help me with the sugars & cholesterol.  If I have to take meds, I have to take meds.  But at least I know I'm doing everything I can to stay healthy. 

2.  Look better.  I went from bulging out of a 22W to a Misses 12-16 range.  Sometimes I still feel fat, but I'm sure that will always be the case.  No worries.  Objectively, I know there is a vast difference.  I get more male attention which is fun.  And I can shop in any store I want!  That is just super fun.

3.  Comfortable.  I think this is what has by far had the most impact on me currently.  I can sit down in a chair and not worry if I'm going to break it.  I don't have to worry about airplane seatbelts or fitting into a booth.  I don't feel like I'm going to damage a treadmill by running on it.  I rarely get the "fat girl" feeling in a room.  I smile more and I know that I send out much more confidence in myself than I did before.  I have always been confident about what was on the inside, but I have never been confident of what was on the outside.  That is all changing now.

4.  Control.  It is amazing how much more in control I feel about all aspects of my life now that I feel I have control of my weight.  I do think it is time for me to start making some non-weight oriented goals.  One thing that is bugging me...I don't typically get home until 8pm(ish) in the evening and I feel like I need to eat right away so I can avoid any acid reflux issues when I go to bed.  The problem is that once I'm done eating, I remain sitting on my butt in front of the TV.  Not that there's anything wrong with that sometimes, but I do it every evening.  I have so much that I could be doing around the apartment.  I'm a clutterer and I would love to get myself more organized, but the only time I would be able to do that is the time between dinner and bed.  I have to find a way to get myself moving.  Any thoughts?

5.  Weight dictating choices.  This just no longer applies.  Well...it might apply slightly in that I'm probably not ready for a pool party with just anyone yet.  But I'm getting there!!

All in all, I realize that this whole journey is amazing.  It does have to do with sizes and weights, but it is SO much more than that.  The further I get down the road, the more I realize how much of a better person I can be.  The more I know how to do that, the more I like myself.  And I know the more I like MYSELF, the more others around me will like me. 

So, now that I feel that I'm on the right path, I need to start getting a little more specific with my non-weight oriented goals.  Now that I have a routine, I don't need to focus so much energy on losing weight...not because I'm giving up, but because I'm living it.  This is my life now and I'm comfortable with it.  Now I'm ready to add something new!

HUGS!

Assessing Priorities

I had a few things happen lately to help me reassess my priorities.  First, as you all know, my dear friend's husband passed away.  Second, yesterday, my parents were in a car accident.  They miraculously walked away unscathed, but they were broadsided, the car flipped and was totalled.  My unbelievably strong 70 year old parents have barely scratches.  I have nothing to say but thanks be to God.

Anyway, I ate like crap this weekend.  I had ice cream, rum drinks and other things I'm sure.  I (not surprisingly) was WAY up on the scale this morning.  I felt myself start to flail a bit so I stopped and took stock.  I realize that in the past, these things happening to me would have sent me into a self-sabotage spiral.  Woe is me.  Poor pitiful me.  I need a burger.  I need chocolate.  Excuses, excuses, excuses.  But what I realized is that while I was hanging off the wagon this weekend, I didn't really fall off and it is very easy to get righted again.  That's why I got the Band in the first place. 

I have come far enough that I feel in control of myself.  And being in control of this part of my life helps me to not spiral out of control in the other parts of my life.  I didn't lose 2.2 pounds or more this weekend.  Okay.  But I was still able to buy a pair of size 12 Levi's this weekend and a size 16 bathing suit that I don't hate.  I keep telling everyone else that this is not a race.  I need to remember that myself.  I still have goals and I'm still working to reach them.  I will not beat myself up and I will not quit.  I'm in charge of my destiny.

Eating - I ate things this weekend that I shouldn't have for a person on a Swing for the Fences Challenge.  If I want to reach my aggressive 100 pound loss goal by Easter, I had to be strict.  I was not.  Okay.  That's okay.  The one consistent thing about this journey is how I consistently fall down and pick myself up again.  Sometimes monthly, sometimes weekly and sometimes daily.  I'm doing that now.  Dusting myself off and looking at my food plan for the week. 

Exercise - I'm doing great in this department.  I worked out at least 1290 minutes in March for an average of OVER 40 MINUTES PER DAY.  That is GREAT!  All of this exercise is good for my body and eventually the scale will catch up.  While I'm still not sure I love exercise while it is happening, I love how I feel after and I love being able to do things I wasn't able to do before. 

Outlook - Knowing myself as I do, I think it would be very easy for my to feel down today.  But I don't.  I think I mention this because it is such a different place for me to be.  I was always so emotional before and any little thing made me crumble.  But now, I feel so stable.  It wasn't just losing weight (although that has helped my confidence), it is much more than that.  I have found a peaceful place in my heart.  The ups and downs of life come and I'm able to float on them like I'm on a raft in the waves. 

I kind of rambled today, but this is where I am on a Monday morning.  Not perfect, but content.  Ready to keep driving forward without obssessing over the speed bumps.  Just relaxing and riding the waves.

Hugs!

It's my body...might as well learn to love it.

I think that most of you know that I like to push myself.  I get such a thrill when I learn I can do something that I couldn't do before.  That is one of the biggest things that keeps me going.  I have two things in the last 24 hours that can make this list:

• At Jazzercise, I do mostly high impact these days (I used to have to modify to do low impact because my feet hurt too much).  However, one thing I always kept low impact was when I would have to hop on one leg (to kick or something.)  Last night, I crossed that barrier.  I was able to bounce during those steps, keep my balance and not hurt my feet.  YAY!  Now, I think the only thing I have left (as far as bouncing/jumping) is when I lunge or do hips side to side.  Maybe next week.  :)
• During yoga this morning, several of the routines have the same move during warm up.  While kneeling (butt down on the back of calves), you clasp your hands behind you.  Then keeping your hands clasped, you lean forward, putting your forehead on the floor and raise your arms behind you.  Always before, I had to unclasp my hands, put my forehead on the floor, then reclasp my hands.  I was afraid that I was going to faceplant on the floor.  However, my core muscles are much stronger now and I was able to control the movement.  YAY!!  I was able to do every move in the routine as shown.  It's not a super challenging show (Namaste Yoga on Discovery Health & Fitness), but I'm getting there!

Also, I'm learning that it is hard to love your body.  There are times I feel like I look good, but there are still so many things that I just don't like.  So, taking a cue from some of you out there, I'm trying to determine those things that I DO love, or at least like, about my body.

• When I'm lying down, I can feel my hipbone.  That used to be hidden under a whole lot of layers, but now it protrudes a bit.  And there is an indention under the hips where my legs start.  Instead of being round, I'm developing curves.
• As I mentioned in one of my pictures not too long ago, I have discovered that I have a neck and collarbones!
• My new haircut has made my eyes more noticeable.  I never thought they were anything special but now they are one of my favorite features.
• My calves look positively tiny (for me).  I have always had a smaller core body and larger extremeties.  Although my thighs and upper arms are still problem areas, my calves are looking so much better.  I think the running and Jazzercising are making such a difference with them. 
• Right below my ribs and above my stomach, my body dips in.  I'm coming very close to having some abs people.  They are still buried down there, but they are fighting to get out!!  :)

Instead of focusing on the droopy boobs, the thunder thighs, the jelly belly and the flabby arms, I want to focus on the good things.  It is really hard for me, but I'm trying. 

Happy April Fools Day!  And Go Rangers!!

Hugs!