Tuesday, March 1, 2016

And so it begins...

Today is the first day of my pre-sleeve surgery two week liquid diet. The plan is to have a shake at 9am, noon, and 2pm (with a 4th at home for "dinner".) I also have 8 oz of chicken broth for 4pm or so. Then I brought sugar free popsicles, jello and gum along with vitamin water & decaf tea, so I can have a little something every 30 minutes or so.

I also plan to drink a lot of water which will mean a ton of bathroom trips.

I'm finally updating my weight ticker today. I gained exactly 20 pounds from the night that my band slipped (or whatever happened) until this morning. It was only just over 4 months. I'm hopeful that weight will come off quickly.

The even better news is that even with all this nonsense, I have kept off 46 pounds from the beginning. So, I'm not starting over. I'm just starting again. Interestingly, I didn't get to my goal weight the first time. In fact, I didn't even get within 20 pounds of it. It will be interesting to see if I can get there this time.

Here is me today:

I hated pictures of me prior to weight loss surgery. But then for a long time, I loved (or at least didn't mind) them. I just realized that I really don't like them again. :-) My hair that I feels looks so sassy in real life looks...well, not sassy. I don't really mind the rest of me in this picture. The shirt is cute and jeans are jeans. Interesting. Overall, I just don't feel good on the inside, so I don't really feel good on the outside.

I'm looking forward to:
  • Not feeling like I could be a fire breathing dragon (that should be fixed with the hernia repair.)
  • Not feeling like I have a caterpillar in my chest (also hernia.)
  • My clothes fitting again. 
  • My arms not hurting because I'm stretching the skin at the scars from my plastic surgery.
  • Working out again!!!!!!!
  • Feeling like I have control over my own body again.
  • Sleeping better!
 All of those things will come, I just have to be patient and take it one day at a time.

Not too long ago, someone told me that I didn't seem like a person that cared about her weight. I think that they meant that I was confident about myself and wouldn't allow weight to change that. I also think they meant it as a compliment. And there is some truth to that. I no longer let my weight define me. However, the bottom line is that I feel like crap. I didn't used to feel like crap. And I don't want to feel like crap anymore. If someone else that is overweight doesn't feel like crap, they might choose a different path and that is absolutely A-OK!



Lori said...

I am glad you are on the path to healing. I know it seems like a long hard road, but you will make it.

How did the gall bladder scan turn out?

Barbara said...

Wishing smooth sailing with your surgery. Keep us updated and let us know the difference between the two.

We will be thinking about you!!!