Thursday, January 29, 2015

Another Moving Day

Today has been crazy! We are renovating our offices, so I moved temporarily to an office on a different floor. My entire team moved and it has been chaotic. We all get along well though so I think it will all work out fine.

I just had Slim Fast and coffee for breakfast, but they brought in BBQ for lunch and I'm guessing I took in too many calories. I stayed away from the bread though so that is one positive thing.

I'm not sure I will get in an actual workout today, although I have done a lot of walking, stair climbing and unpacking. I'm actually quite tired. I was going to work out after work, but I just don't think it is going to happen. Although, I think I have convinced myself to run at lunch tomorrow. That is a double winner because it will keep me from going out to eat.

I loved my Gwynnie shirt from today so much, I bought it!

We went to the Shaping Sound Tour last night and it was AMAZING! I think part of the reason I can't get myself to go work out is that I'm so stinking tired. I swear I'm such a baby when it comes to getting my sleep. I bet I'm in bed before 9pm tonight.


Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Keeping On

I have been thinking about yesterday's post a lot. If you missed it, I was musing on whether you can be fat and healthy. I think I was obsessing a bit and I boiled it down to two things:

1. I think I conflated two things, being healthy and living a healthy lifestyle.
2. I feel defensive because people can judge me on my "healthiness" by just looking at me.

Is it possible to be healthy and be obese (or significantly overweight)? I say no. I say that because I don't think you can be considered healthy (with no asterisks) and be outside a healthy weight. Or have high blood pressure. Or high cholesterol. Any time you have something outside what a doctor is considered healthy, then you aren't unqualifyingly healthy.

However, I think you can be all of the things I listed above and still live a healthy lifestyle. I'm not talking about perfection. But living a healthy lifestyle, meaning you do the things you can do with the body you eat right, you exercise, you don't smoke, you drink moderately, blah, blah, blah...does not mean you are healthy all on its own.

Which brings me to my second item. I know thin people that treat their bodies terribly and are on all sorts of medications for high blood pressure, cholesterol, to sleep, to stay awake, etc. But any bystander can look at an obese person and know they are obese. Those other people don't have to wear their badge outwardly. Most of the time I'm okay with that. But if I am honest with myself every once in a while, like yesterday, it gets to be a little too much for me and I have to prove to everybody how healthy I live on a regular basis. What I really need to do is just do it and not worry about the rest. Baby steps.(Also, I get frustrated at the people who compare unhealthy to gluttonous or lazy, but that is for another day.)

So proud of myself! I had my regular breakfast. We went to a steakhouse for lunch. We ordered chips and queso for an appetizer and I counted out my little serving of chips and my 3 tablespoons of cheese. Then I had 1/2 of a salmon and spinach salad. I'm hoping to get by this afternoon without a snack. If I do, then I will have a bit of the leftover salad that I brought back with me.

For dinner tonight, we are headed to PF Chang's. My plan is to get the Shrimp Lo Mein.

Nothing today, but we did walk around a lot today, not to mention that I'm packing up my office to switch floors tomorrow. Tonight we are going to Fort Worth for dinner and to see Shaping Sound so I should get some walking done there as well.

Oh! And I got a new fancy Fitbit Surge. It is kind of big, so I hope I don't get tired of wearing it. But I wanted this one because it has the internal running app. Maybe it will encourage me to run more.

I'm wearing a Gwynnie Bee today. I have actually had this one for a while. It was snug when I first got it, but I have lost enough that it felt good to wear. When I got to work I caught a glimpse in a mirror at the wrong angle and thought it was too tight. But my friend came into my office and said that she popped in to tell me how awesome I looked in the dress. That it flattered me perfectly. Talk about making my day!
I got the mirror for my office, but I'm still working on the pictures. I will get there. Anyway, the dress is giraffe print. My new Stella bracelets:
My mottos...Live Now and Choose Happy.

I want to leave you with two thoughts:
My friend sent this to me via Facebook telling me it made her think of me. It made me immediately smile. Always choose to be yourself people, unless you can choose to be a unicorn.
These are the things I try to live by, so when I saw it, I had to save it.


Tuesday, January 27, 2015

What is healthy?

Yesterday, I wrote about how my bad mood changed after my run. That continued into yoga where I received my 10 class Welcome bracelet.
It is a little bittersweet to get a congratulations bracelet that cuts off your circulation because your wrist is too fat. :) But it is all good, I'm happy that I'm sticking with it and that I am starting to really enjoy it.

I am mostly mirroring yesterday, but instead of leftover pasta for lunch, I'm having leftover Buffaloaf and mashed potatoes from this weekend. Tomorrow will be the challenge because I'm going out to lunch AND dinner. I'm working on the inner strength to make good choices.

I ran again at lunch today. This time I'm packed my iPod with only "good" songs. It worked! I ran the whole 30 minutes! I would want to walk and I would tell myself to take advantage of the good song and run...walk the next song. But then the next song would be good and I would do the same thing. It is amazing how you can manipulate yourself like that, but whatever works!

I meant to take pictures preworkout, but I didn't. No Gwynnie Bee + sweaty mess = no picture. I did, however, want to discuss this article. Especially when I was bigger, I would get very frustrated that the clothes I would want to buy (like from Lane Bryant) would be worn by plus sized models that really wouldn't even (in reality) be able to fit properly in the clothes. And even if they did fit in the smallest size, it was barely representative of how the clothes would look on someone much bigger. I LOVE the idea of bigger models for many reasons, but that is a major one.

The article also brought up another train of thought for me. What is healthy? I saw this article posted on Facebook and while I try to avoid the comments, it was impossible not to see the first ones listed that were lambasting the company for "promoting an unhealthy lifestyle." That gave me pause. In the article, the model talks about working out with a trainer 4x per week and there is no indication that she eats unhealthy. Is simply being overweight mean that you live an unhealthy lifestyle?

I eat clean and avoid prepackaged food most of the time. I eat fast food about twice a year. Last year, I averaged over 22 minutes per day (EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE YEAR) of exercise and that was just what I remembered to log. My doctor gives me a clean bill of health, except for obesity. Am I healthy?

Are there people that eat better and work out more than I do? Of course! I know several. But I also know a ton of people, fat, thin and all shapes and sizes that don't. I would argue that my "lifestyle" is tremendously more healthy than most, but every single time a smaller person would be picked as the healthier person.

My point is that you can live a very healthy lifestyle and still be fat. And you can live a very unhealthy lifestyle and still be skinny. But we fat folks are always going to be judged for it. I am going to take a page from the model's book and start celebrating my body. I work really hard, damn hard, to look the way I do and I will continue to do so. But I'm not waiting until I'm an "acceptable" weight. I'm living now!

I saw this today and it spoke to me.


Monday, January 26, 2015

It sure is a Monday

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something. Do you ever have days you are just spoiling for a fight? Right before lunch I realized that I was picking fights with people in my head. That is my indicator that I'm in a bad mood and I need to check myself. Typically, I figure what I'm really upset/embarrassed/frustrated/etc. about, let it go and I can stop myself from attaching that feeling to someone else. But today, I honestly cannot think of what I'm upset about. Everything is just normal.

Luckily, it is a beautiful day outside. The poor northeast is about to get buried under snow and here it is sunny and 60. We have the most crazy and volatile weather, but sometimes it works in our favor. At lunch, I took my bad attitude and went outside. First I was just going to walk. Then I decided I would alternate songs running/walking. What actually happened is that I ran three songs, walked one then ran four. By the time I got back, my bad mood was gone. It is this kind of day that makes me want to dig out my Garmin and give running another try. Something tells me that the mood will pass before that happens, but I will be grateful for today.

This week's fitness plan includes lunch workouts today, tomorrow & Thursday which should all be good weather, outdoor days. Yoga tonight and Thursday.


I'm actually excited about my breakfasts this week. I cubed two sweet potatoes, tossed them in a little oil, salt, pepper, garlic, & hot pepper then roasted them in the oven. I chopped up a boneless ham steak and sauteed it in a pan with some diced onions and mushrooms. I put that all together and split it into 5 servings. I had one today with a boiled egg and it was AWESOME!

Lunch today is leftover pasta from BFF. Afternoon snack is hummus with a few crackers.

Dinner is my leftovers. I braised some cabbage which is one of my favorite vegetable recipes. Then I made a chicken cauliflower casserole. Cauliflower is the new kale, you know. At least that is what the internet told me the other day. It certainly does seem to be popping up in all sorts of recipes. I'm glad though because I like cauliflower!

A while back I banned Nutella from my home. I just can't buy it because I will eat the whole jar. Some people don't understand how I can do that. They say, "I would be sick if I tried to do that." Well, having that gene that makes you sick when you eat a whole jar of Nutella would be super nice to have, but I don't have it. So it is banned. That's fine. Out of sight out of mind. This weekend, I found that I have to ban Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups. I cannot be rational. They now have to be banned. Damn it.

On that note, I gained 1.6 pounds this week which is basically what I lost before. I'm kind of annoyed, but not really. This is my rodeo. I will be taking measurements next weekend to compare to the beginning of the year. It will be interesting to see if there is any change there whatsoever.

I went to Jazzercise this weekend and it made me SO sore! Since I have been walking and doing yoga, I haven't been doing things that really make my body feel that burn. It felt good!

On the flip side of that.. One of my Facebook friends posted this today. I have gained some weight back from my lowest and I go back and forth a bit, but I can say that I have lost and kept off the equivalent of an elephant penis. And really, isn't that the important thing?  :)

I got my office mirror, but (a.) I'm working on how to make it work and (b.) my outfit isn't very inspiring today. Back to it tomorrow!


Friday, January 23, 2015

Do you have recurring dreams?

I guess I don't have recurring dreams, per se, but I do have a recurring theme. Every so often I dream of things falling from the sky. I am slightly phobic of flying. When I go to get on an airplane or sometimes just riding to the airport, I can feel my body tightening, my head starting to ache and I even start to shake sometimes. It is ridiculous. Logically, I know that everything is fine, so I will never let it stop me, but there is no denying it exists.

Anyway, you would think my dreams would be about me in an airplane crash, right? While airplanes (and helicopters) often crash in my dreams, I am never on them. I just see it happen or occasionally, they fall ON me. One of the more memorable ones had me watching black hawks falling from the sky into a field one by one with no discernible reason why. Many times, including the one this week, had me sitting in my office when I notice a plane flying too close (I live right between two airports, about 10 miles in each direction. There are planes flying by constantly, but not close.) In my dreams, I will see the plane pass by or overhead and then feel it hit the building somewhere. I'm not usually affected by the impact, but I'm trying to get myself (and others) away from danger.

Since we have had a rash of earthquakes in north Texas, I wondered if we had one that night and I substituted the plane crash in my dream, but we didn't. Too weird. I tried reading some dream interpretations, but it all seemed like nonsense.

You will be happy to know I am planning to buy a full length mirror for my office this weekend. There should be plenty of light for future pictures. :) In the meantime, you get these dark messes...

This is my outfit from yesterday. I don't think it photographed well, but it was really cute!

Here is a closer look at the necklace. Don't mind my non-makeup face. I worked out at lunch and didn't reapply. I need to start bringing make up to touch up after the workouts. I always sweat it off!
Here is today's outfit. I tried taking a picture at home too but it didn't work either. Once I have the mirror in my office, they should be much better!

It is sweetly conservative. I'm having a blast with the Gwynnie in case you couldn't tell. If you find yourself interested, follow this link.

I didn't post yesterday which usually would be bad news. But I was good with my food choices yesterday and I worked out at lunch. I tried a new podcast called Criminal. It is no Serial, but it is interesting and I want to try a few more. I did have an opportunity to go to yoga, but I went home instead.

I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow which I'm really excited about. I'm still growing out the front, but getting the back trimmed up. It is getting straggly. This is my goal:

I wonder how long it is going to take me before I give up and go back to this:
Of course, I was about 24 pounds lighter there. Sigh. Baby steps.

Have a wonderful weekend! My goal is to cook healthy and stay active.


Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Well that happened...

I forgot what I was like when I'm hungry. Like legit hungry...not "it's time to eat" hungry or "I'm bored, what is there to eat?" hungry. Like eating liquids all day with a loose lap band type of hungry. It's okay. It was a choice. I need to get whatever is going on straightened out and yesterday was just a transition period. I was fine at lunch, but by dinner I was just hungry and quite honestly, bitchy and whiny as well.

Last night with yoga I was fighting an uphill battle:
  1. Debi had a commitment and wasn't going which isn't an excuse, but accountability partners exist for a reason. Ha!
  2. I couldn't get anyone else to go with me.
  3. My only option was the new Pilates class and it intimidates me even under the best of circumstances.
  4. I tried to barter (with myself) about going on the treadmill when I got home and I answered myself with a resounding "hell no". 
When I can't even get myself to commit to a little treadmill action, I know it is time to throw in the towel for the day. It isn't the end of the world. But I'm not done...

So I go home and eat my dinner. I'm still hungry. You know why I'm still hungry? Liquids do not make you full. No matter how delicious (and/or high calorie) they are, they just don't stick. So I was looking for comfort. You know what is practically liquid? Chocolate. It melts in your mouth. So all my resolve melted like said chocolate. Sigh. I will say, it was damn good. (No I did not eat all of that, but it felt like it.)

This morning as I struggled to get out of bed, I reminded myself that if I would have gone to yoga (and not eaten a bunch of chocolate) I would have slept better and getting up would be easier. After my borderline verbally abusive response to myself, I got up and at it.

One bad day does not define me.  


Breakfast - Coffee & two boiled eggs
Lunch - pork chops and rice (thank goodness for solid food!)
Snack - cauliflower "bread"sticks
Dinner - sweet potato hash with veggies and eggs


At lunch, I will walk and listen to my last Serial podcast. I'm sad that it is over but I have downloaded a few different things to try and take its place. Also, I'm going to yoga tonight. It is Wood class which is my favorite. No excuses.


I really need to get a mirror in my office. These are really too dark to see, but anyway...

The dress is Gwynnie Bee. You can better see what the dress pattern looks like here:
I like the black leather jacket with it! I chose denim because for me, it is more comfortable to wear all day. I also added a black ribbon around my waist since that is my smallest part and the dress is quite loose fitting.
Again, you can't really see much, but you can see the waist definition which was the purpose.

I will leave you with these two thoughts for my day:


Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Passed my test

First and foremost, I passed the second part of my certification exam! Only seven more to go. Wow, that is a lot. But still, I have passed two now and that is exciting! Studying as an adult is just as bad, if not worse than studying as a young student. However, I'm fortunate that no one minds if I do some studying at work in my free time. Win-win.

The second big thing that already happened today is that I chose to walk to my test. The weather is nice and the testing center is only about a mile from home. So I have a few thousand more steps in than usual.

Breakfast - Latte (by the time I took the test and got to work, it was practically lunch time)
Lunch - Bean soup. I'm not going to lie, it is not good. I can't even finish it. I have some leftover tortilla chips and dip. Hopefully that will be enough.
Snack - hard boiled egg
Dinner - pork chop with rice

I made it to yoga last night and I'm really starting to enjoy that class. Tonight I'm trying a Pilates class. I know it will be challenging, but hopefully it isn't death like the Fire class I took a couple of weeks ago. I'm determined to give it a try because it is the only option besides Fire on Tuesdays. I can't rule out both of them!

One step at a time.


Monday, January 19, 2015

Weekly Weigh In

Weekly Check In

Good news this Monday morning! Even though I was TERRIBLE yesterday, I'm still down 2.8 pounds this week for a total loss this year of 3 pounds. That's more like it.

While I'm focusing well on my fitness, food & fashion goals, I'm lagging a bit on my home-related goals. I have made some conscious decisions to do things that I know will take time away from that. For instance, this weekend, I chose to go to yoga and lunch with Debi on Saturday and to a movie with my newest (not quite) godson Kenny when I knew that would leave me no extra time. I decided that spending that time with loved ones was more important. I'm okay with that.


I'm going for a bit of an unfill today. I have mentioned my ongoing issues with acid reflux and as recently as Saturday, I could barely eat a thing. However, yesterday I had no issues at all and today I had sausage for breakfast. WTF? Whatever, I need to go through with it and have at least 30 days free of acid reflux before I start the process over. I will keep you posted.

Breakfast: 2 Eggs & 2 sausage patties with coffee
Lunch: leftover dip with tortilla chips and fruit
Snack: boiled eggs & mixed nuts
Dinner: pork chops with rice & cauliflower cheese sticks (one piece of chocolate bark)

This weekend I made chili, cauliflower cheese sticks, & some chocolate peanut butter bark. The chili went really well with the cheese sticks for dinner last night. I put the leftover chili in the freezer to keep for later. BFF made pork chops and that's what I'm going to eat this week along with some other odds and ends in the refrigerator/pantry that needs to be used. I will admit to going a little overboard on the bark yesterday. That was yummo! But I'm committed to limiting myself this week and taking the rest to work to share.

Since I'm going to be looser and therefore hungrier, I'm determined to be prepared with healthy meals and snacks focusing on fresh and paleo-centric.


I was super proud of my fitness last week. I went to yoga four times and worked out at lunch three times for a total of 315 minutes or an average of 45 minutes per day. Exceptional! I know I won't always be able to get in that many minutes, but I like that when I had option, I chose to do it.

A side benefit of choosing to work out at lunch is that I know whatever I eat will inevitably be more healthy than what I would eat if I went out to lunch.

This week I plan to yoga three times, work out at lunch twice, & Jazzercise once.


I'm working at home this morning. I'm studying for my next certification test (tomorrow) before my unfill appointment. So I'm dressed super casual. Tomorrow will probably be similar because I would like to walk to my testing center and it is about a 15-20 minute walk. So I will need to dress warm and sensibly. Hopefully I will be back to my dressier self (and some Gwynnie Bee!) on Wednesday.

I need to get back to studying. Wish me luck! Hopefully I will have good news when I check in tomorrow. :-)


Friday, January 16, 2015


What a great week! Debi wasn't able to make it to yoga last night, but I made myself go anyway and I'm glad I did. Can I just tell you how much I hate looking at myself in those yoga mirrors? I think it is a good motivator. Keep going until you can tolerate looking at yourself. Ha!

I have come to terms with the fact that my band is too tight. The reflux just will NOT go away. I have an appointment on Monday for another slight unfill. It will make things harder, of course, but it is the right thing to do.

Breakfast - coffee & slimfast
Lunch - fish soup
Dinner - Sweet potato hash with duck (probably) and a drink of some sort

Not sure what the weekend will bring, but I am hoping to continue my good choices.

I'm actually going to work out at lunch today! On a Friday! I went out yesterday so it isn't like I have been in all week. Plus, I'm looking forward to my next Serial podcast. AND I have my yummy fish soup to eat. I should take advantage of these times I feel motivated.

Another Gwynnie Bee day. This time the shirt. I have pictures with my blazer closed open.

 My friend runs a boutique in Indy and I ordered my new booties from her. They are adorbs.
I have been doing well with reading, okay with crocheting, but crappy in the home goals. I was going to do some things this weekend, but with yoga & lunch with Debi, an outing with BFF + church on Saturday evening and movies with one of my (practically) godsons on Sunday, I have booked myself out of much time.

I will commit to putting the Christmas stuff in storage. I took it all down and packed it up, but I haven't put it away. I will do that for sure. Anything else I get done will be gravy.


I'm posting a couple of things that caught my attention last night.

 This one speaks to me in two ways. First, four years ago when I changed my life and started treating my body well. Feeding it well, working out, sleeping...all the important things. Second, now when I'm starting to love my body regardless if I need to lose a few pounds or not. It may have taken 40 years, but I'm getting there. I may not love looking at my sweaty uncoordinated self in giant mirrors at yoga, but I'm doing it and eventually I will be fine even there.

I have mixed emotions about this. While it is no doubt true, it is more than that. Not everyone can just decide one day to be a runner (or whatever) it is much more nuanced than that. But the words all hit home. There's no magic pill. No special shake. No secret diet. I would change "Just get off your ass" to "You know what you have to do."

Finally, I'm planning to buy myself a personal engraved bracelet. I'm considering things to put on it. My current thoughts:
  • Make It Happen
  • Live Now
  • Choose Happy
I'm still considering...

Have a great weekend!


Thursday, January 15, 2015

Ten Things Thursday

1. Hi Peeps! Remind me when later how awesome I feel when I'm in my routine. I'm not talking about the scale, I mean my general well being. Sleep, mood, aches & pains...all of that seems to regulate once I'm in a good routine. Plus, I think the yoga is helping.

2. I had a great food day yesterday. I did have a thought last night. Over the last few months, I have been getting quite hungry at night so I worked to get hearty but healthy dinners prepared so I would make good choices. What I'm finding is that especially on yoga nights, I have trouble eating much at all.

I don't know if it is the yoga itself or what, but last night I realized that it was silly to worry about it. I should exploit it! I ate tiny breakfast and dinner and had my one heartier meal (my fish soup) at lunch. It's perfect!

3. Yesterday was also a great fitness day. I walked at lunch and listened to a Serial podcast. I only have three more! I downloaded some others to try. When I walk, I don't walk very fast, but I do walk at an incline. I start at a 2 and increase the incline a half step every minute so I end up at 15 by the end. I usually have to start hanging on around 10, but my goal is to walk the whole thing with no assistance. Those hills get tough!

4. I also went to yoga. My fifth class since starting. I just can't believe how much I'm enjoying it. I run so hot and I thought I would just die, but I think it is actually helping me not be so hot the rest of the time. We will see how that goes as it gets warmer. Maybe I will be able to stand the summer better!

5. From summer 2011 until about six months ago, I worked out like a beast. I loved CrossFit and my workouts were burpees, pull ups, running, push name it and I did it. Or I tried anyway. I wanted to continue but after I moved, going to my old box just isn't feasible and I can't get the courage (or whatever) to go to a new one. I kept beating myself up about it. I'm walking instead of jogging, I'm going to yoga instead of CrossFit. I'm "being lazy". Sigh.

But finally I decided that the best workout is the one you actually do. Reading Sarah and Manda helped me realize that I got to those monster workouts by starting with something and working my way up. Beating myself up about not going to CrossFit is not going to help. Getting to listen to my podcasts gets me to the gym at lunch to walk. Getting to see Debi gets me to the studio after work for yoga. I'm doing good for myself. That is what is important.

6. I love my outfit today. It is Gwynnie Bee. I definitely have a particular style, the "dress with a jacket and boots" thing is my go to during the winter. But I think it works well and suits me. I got a compliment on the elevator this morning. What a great way to start my day!!

7. Plus, I'm wearing my current favorite necklace. It is Stella & Dot which I love!

8. I'm going to Fuzzy's Taco Shop today for lunch. That is a bit scary because I LOVE their chips & queso. When I say I LOVE it, I mean I LOOOOOOVE it. But I'm going to attempt to just have a beef taco and tortilla soup. I have to keep my eye on the prize!

9. It is supposed to be in the 60s this weekend. I'm so very excited.

10. A friend of mine posted this the other day. This is exactly why I blog and need to keep it up.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

F Things

Routine makes all the difference. There is no questioning how eating right, working out, sleeping regularly and just generally being in a schedule affects me. I love travel and spur of the moment things, but no doubt I need to fall back into that routine to regulate myself. Even on Monday when the scale betrayed me, I knew that I felt good and was doing the right thing regardless.


I feel really good about yesterday! I could have made really bad choices (and excuses) at lunch and dinner, but I chose not to do that. Dinner was so fun! We went to a farm to table, health conscious type place. I love going to places where I feel I can order most anything on the menu and still be healthy and "good." I had a curry dish and it was delicious. I do wish I would have ordered it without the chicken. I end up preferring vegetarian so much of the time anymore. Here we are...

I will talk about this more later, but it takes me off guard sometimes how I look in pictures. I just see myself smaller than I am. I'm not complaining or shaming myself in any way. Just making an observation.
Today, my entire food line up will be like Monday. Coffee & SlimFast for breakfast, fish soup for lunch, boiled egg & cheese for snack and sweet potato/fried egg hash for dinner.
I didn't do anything yesterday but I'm eager to walk at lunch while listening to the next episode of Serial. Plus, tonight I have another yoga class. YAY!
No Gwynnie Bee today, but I am wearing my favorite new sweater!
You can't really tell in this picture, but it is a unicorn!! This shirt makes me incredibly happy.
Fun Photos
I wanted to share some pictures from my holiday cruise. First, the bad. This picture is of one of my favorite times on the ship. I was in a sort of game show and I had a blast. I felt super cute in the outfit I was wearing. This picture makes me realize how large my arms are. Let me be clear here...I still love the outfit, I'm still going to wear it, and I'm not ashamed of myself in any way. I'm just trying to express the difference between the me as I see myself and the me that appears in pictures.
Now for two of my favorites.

The first is of me and my niece and I think I might frame it. It is my single favorite photo of me from the trip. I'm just happy and loving my family and I think that comes across. The one of me and my mom is good too. I love my silly big round glasses!

Bottom line, I will not focus on the dislikes to the point that I miss out on the things I love about myself. However, I can note things and do what is in my power to change them. But one of the things I have learned over the last several years is that you can't put off living until you "are ready with yourself." So live I shall!


Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Food, Fitness, Fashion and Fat Questions

(I assume I will get tired of these titles eventually. :-) )


I know I talked about my Fish Chowder yesterday, but holy toledo, it was even better the next day. You can find the recipe I used here. I didn't work that hard on the stock part. I sauteed onions, carrots, garlic, and the spices along with some dried peppers. When they were cooked a bit, I just added some seafood stock and chicken stock and brought to a boil. I strained and used for the stock. I mostly followed the rest of the recipe. It is super awesome.

My dinner was great too. I love sweet potatoes and eggs. I sauteed some ham and onions, added the sweet potatoes I cooked this weekend and some mushrooms and grape tomotoes until everything was cooked. Then I transfered it all to a bowl while I cooked two eggs over medium, topped the veggie mixture and added a spoonful of goat cheese crumbled. Yummilicious!

Today I could not be structured, but so far so good. Slimfast and coffee for breakfast. We had a work meeting for lunch. I had a lunchmeat and cheese roll up, a couple bites of chicken salad, a couple bites of pasta salad, a serving (12 chips) of chips and salsa and some fruit for dessert. I actually ate the chips and salsa for my snack. Tonight we are going to our monthly girls dinner and the restaurant is a health focused farm to table. I think I should do okay!


Yesterday was great! I walked while listening to an episode of Serial at lunch. After work, I met Debi for yoga and this was the best class yet! No fitness today, but right back at it tomorrow.


I took a bit of a risk today. I have had a Gwynnie dress for a few weeks now but it was so dressy and I didn't have anywhere to wear it. Finally today I put it on with a denim jacket and tall boots. I added some understated jewlery and honestly, I think it really worked!

I feel super good today!

Fat Questions

I read this article today and was slightly fascinated by it. I was interested to see what you all thought. I agree with the basic premise. There is so much fat shaming in our society today, it is almost overwhelming. We KNOW we are fat. I think it would be cyclical. People would be more supportive and pressure would lift, sure... But many times, when you fake it, you make it. So it is possible that if people were to fake support that they didn't necessarily feel, eventually they would just be supportive.

Just my two cents.

Also, I read this today and it resonated with me.

#6 really struck home. I started to get a little jealous of a friend last night and then realized I was being an asshole. I should celebrate friend's successes and be happy for and proud of them. All of these things are how I strive to behave.


Monday, January 12, 2015

Food, Fitness, Fashion and F*kity F*k F*k


I did really well with my food over the weekend. Unfortunately, I had horrific band issues on Friday night and Saturday, so I didn't eat much at all. However, I did have a couple of drinks. I logged everything VERY conservatively and I was still way ahead for the week. Go me!

Because of my band trouble, I put off my gourmet meal that I was planning and made New England Fish Chowder instead.
It looks a little yellow in the picture, but it is actually a creamy white. It is full of big hunks of potato and cod. I put some dried hot peppers in the stock which brings some heat. Totally delish!

Breakfast: Slimfast & coffee (still working that tight band)
Lunch: Fish soup
Snack: Boiled egg, turkey & cheese combo
Dinner: Potatoes sauteed in coconut oil with diced ham and eggs


I worked out 5x last week for a total of 225 minutes which averages 32 minutes per day for the week. Good job, me!

This week, I'm planning to go to yoga Monday, Wednesday, & Thursday and work out at lunch Monday and Wednesday. I'm working out on Saturday as well, either yoga or Jazzercise depending on whether Debi wants to yoga or not.


Gwynnie Bee is back! We went to see Lenny Kravitz Saturday night which was super fun. I wore one of my GB tunics.
Today, I'm wearing a GB dress and I have to say that I feel pretty cute.
You can't see the green Stella necklace very well, but it looks great with the red. Not too Christmas-y.

F*kity F*k F*k

So, I lost 2 tenths of a pound this week. 2 tenths. I was a model dieter and I lost basically nothing. So, give me just a sec...

I had a guy not too long ago tell me that he doesn't understand why people don't just stop drinking soda and eating fast food because they would lose 50 pounds like he did. Sigh. If you have a friend, mom, wife, girlfriend, whatever that has trouble losing weight and you happen to be reading this... It isn't just "that" easy. I eat better than most people I know and I work out as much or more than most people I know. Yet, fat just likes to stick to me. I absolutely do not give a flying frick what people say, it is just harder for some people. No, I do not have a medical issue, it is just like this. It. Just. Is.



Okay, I'm done with that. All that being said, it is what it is. Maybe it is water weight or some such, but above all, I'm doing what I should be doing. The scale is just one monitor. Another is sleep which seems to be better. I feel good. So, whatever, onward.

As negative as this post sounds, I'm actually quite positive. I'm back in my post-holiday routine and it feels good. I worked on my non-weight related goals this week/weekend. I took down the Christmas decor and ordered a new organizer for my tree. This week I would like to go through one of the cabinets I have in my living room and donate, trash or otherwise address everything in it.

I have read at least a little bit almost every night and I did some work on my scarf. I may have to get another thing of yarn to finish it because it is going to be a little too short without more. Church was lovely this week. And even though I want to dress down today, I dressed up in my GB and I feel great. Let's see what this week brings!!


Friday, January 9, 2015

Food, Fitness, Fashion and Failure Schmailure


I'm still having tightness troubles so soup was the right way to go yesterday. I'm doing the same thing again today. If this doesn't clear up over the weekend, I may have to do a couple days of full on liquids. Stay tuned.

Challenges for today...I'm going out for Mexican at lunch. I'm going to have tortilla soup so that should be fine. I have to stay away from the chips. They slide down no matter what, those boogers. Tonight we are going to PF Changs for dinner, if I'm still feeling tight I will stick with hot and sour soup, but if I can eat I will have some dumplings. I know I will have a drink but I will stick with bourbon and soda so at least I will limit the calories.

Let's be real for a minute. It is SO much easier to follow the rules during the week, but the weekend comes, the rules are forgotten and we eat, drink and be merry to our hearts content. Then Monday arrives and shit gets real. All the damage is done and it is time to hop on the hamster wheel again. I'm making a concentrated effort not to let that happen this weekend.

For Christmas, my BFF got me a personally autographed Scott Conant Scarpetta cookbook. Scarpetta Vegas is my favorite restaurant and Scott is my favorite celebrity chef. Who doesn't love Chopped? Anyway, this is no easy peasy five minute meals cookbook. It is gourmet all the way. I have selected a meal for this weekend...diver scallops with pine nut gremolata and asparagus. This is what it is supposed to look like:
I will take a picture of my version and see how it matches up. I'm sure the only difference will be my white plates. HAHA! Anyway, this is complicated, but healthy. My planned lunches are healthy too. Just have to stay away from snacking (since I'm busy that shouldn't be too bad) and not have too many drinks Saturday night. All doable.


I worked out on the elliptical at lunch yesterday while listening to Serial. I'm so into it! I ended up having to work late so I didn't make it to yoga.

Next week, Debi & I are planning to go to yoga 3x during the week and maybe even meeting up on Saturday to go. I'm planning 2 lunch workouts.


I did get my new Gwynnie Bee shipment, but I didn't wear anything today. I liked all 3 items so I will definitely be wearing them over the next week. I have to admit that today's outfit isn't super flattering. I look quite hippy.
But it's okay. I like the sweater and I don't look horrible, just not my most flattering. The key piece are my badass Doc Martens.

Failure Schmailure

I started getting down on myself last night for missing yoga. Here it is my first week and I have already failed. It is that type of thinking that can get a person in a spiral of bad choices. But I stopped and logically broke it down:
  1. I worked out 5 times this week for an average of 30 minutes spread over the 7 days a week. Now that might be the minimum I want to work out, but a true 30 minutes per day average is great.
  2. I didn't just skip. I worked and my job is important. I don't want to always skip workouts for work, but that isn't the case here. I had a meeting run long and I needed to finish up some things.
  3. While working out is important (and it is VERY important for me), my true issue is food. This is what makes or breaks it for me. And I am making good choices. As long as I am doing that I am going to be successful.
I came to the conclusion that I mustn't stick my head up my ass because everything is fine.

Tonight BFF & I are going to the mall after work. I need to buy a birthday gift for my oldest nephew and I may try on some Uggs. We'll see. Tomorrow night we are going to dinner and then to see Lenny Kravitz. That should be super fun!

I HAVE to take down my Christmas decorations this weekend. I told myself that one of my mini goal rewards will be to buy a little twinkly tree I can keep in the corner year round. :)


Thursday, January 8, 2015

Food, Fitness, Fashion and Fire vs. Freezing


Yet another stellar day, just like the first two. YAY! I have been having some tightness issues though so I'm going a little mushier today.

Breakfast:  Slim Fast shake
Lunch: Tom Thumb Rosemary Bean Soup (This is pre-packaged, but it is fresher than say, a canned soup. Plus, it is delicious and decent calorie wise.)
Snack: Turkey and Laughing Cow
Dinner: I think I will stick with soup and have some corn chowder.


I went to HOT yoga last night, the Fire class. My first two yoga classes were 90 degrees. This one was 98.6 degrees. I don't think I can put into words the difference those 8.6 degrees makes. Holy geeze. I basically spent 60 minutes trying my darndest not to pass out. I'm not sure how much yoga I actually got out of it, but I did sweat 2.6 pounds worth. Unbelievable! I think I will stick to the 90 degree classes until I get more used to the heat.

Yesterday I went to walk at lunch while I listened to a Serial podcast, but it didn't download right. I was so bummed. I'm going again today but I'm making sure my podcast is available!! After work, I'm going to Spark yoga. Debi can't go today, so I don't have an accountability partner. I'm telling you that I will go.


Still no Gwynnie Bee. Hopefully my new shipment will be here tomorrow. Today I picked another sweater from the archives.
I like it with the camel boots. It is a little snug, but it is still cute. Love that owl.

I have a GB lace dress at home that is really too dressy for anything. I'm toying with the idea of pairing it with a jean jacket and tall boots to dress it down. Kind of a fancy/casual mash up. We'll see.

Fire vs. Freezing

After about dying of heat stroke last night, I'm freezing today. I can't complain because Dallas isn't nearly as cold as most of the country, but here I am in my office today, typing with gloves and wearing a winter coat. I remember when I never used to get cold. Craziness.


Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Food, Fitness, Fashion...and Fault lines?


I had another successful day! I ate the exact same thing as Monday and worked out perfectly. Today I will do the same.

I did reach my first mini goal which was unbelievably mini... I had 1.4 lbs of holiday bloat (which actually has to be some sort of record low) to lose and I did that this morning. YAY! My next mini goal is to lose 5 pounds. I don't have a timeline necessarily, just the goal of staying on track with my good choices.


I mentioned my run/walk yesterday. Today I'm going to walk (no running) at lunch today while I listen to another episode of Serial. Then I will go to my first Fire yoga class tonight. I'm skerred! :-) But I'm also excited. I know I can do it. Baby steps.


No Gwynnie Bee today. The two dresses I currently have at home are too dressy for this week and I'm waiting on my next shipment. Today's outfit was inspired by the need to keep warm. I'm not a fan of jeans at work for a few reasons. First, I don't find them all that comfortable. I think a dress or leggings beat them in that category hands down. Plus, I feel more powerful (internally) when I'm dressed more professionally. But nothing much is going on this week and they sure do win in the warmth category.
The sweater I got at the Banana Republic outlet during one of my marathon shopping sessions with mom. What you can't see are the cute IU socks I bought myself for Christmas...
I feel like I should be going to a game. Though with their sad performance the other night against MSU, I'm concerned it is going to be a tough and long season. But maybe it was just a super bad night. We will see.

Fault lines?

Or should I say "Fracking?"? I live in the Dallas area and we have had over 20 earthquakes in the last 24 hours. It has been crazy! None of them have been bigger than a magnitude 3.6 but I work on the 18th floor of a 22 floor building within a mile of the epicenter. It is no fun, folks.

There is a lot of debate on whether it is related to fracking. I'm waiting to hear from the scientists. People are passionately debating whether they are caused by fracking or fault lines. I'm not sure I understand yet why it couldn't be both. Stay tuned. I can say though that I would be a lot happier if things were a bit more still.


Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Getting a Rhythm


I did great with food yesterday! I followed my plan perfectly. The only times I got hungry were when it was time to eat my next meal/snack. I am having some tightness issues so I have taken to eaten while I'm standing up and/or walking. Is that weird? Eh, whatever works.

Today I have the EXACT same meal line up as yesterday. I do think that I need to drink more water.

Yoga was great yesterday. It was a similar room as the last class I did, meaning that it was 90 degrees and 40% humidity. The moves focused on smaller muscles and is designed to develop strength and flexibility. 90 degrees is the "cool" class. I can't imagine how 97 degrees is going to feel tomorrow. Oh well, one step at a time.

I ran/walked at lunch today. It was sunny so I went outside around the lake and listened to week 5 of Serial. I'm loving that! Anyway, I'm still trying to ditch the last of the crud stuff so it wasn't great, but it was something. After, I feel better for sure, but I can feel the soreness from the yoga coming through!

I had to take my picture super quick today because someone was coming out of the restroom and I didn't want to have to explain what I was doing. Ha! The dress is Gwynnie Bee. I got the jacket at a big Nordstrom sale. The shoes were from a big DSW sale once. I think I paid $5 for them. They are super cute though when I can find the right things to wear them with. I thought the belt helped the dress a lot even if it is a bit cockeyed in the picture. A nice casual but professional look for everyday.

The priest read this quote at NYE vigil mass last week and I saw it again on FB yesterday. I really love it. It goes to my spiritual goals.


Monday, January 5, 2015

Focus on Food, Fitness & Fashion

I stepped on the scale this morning for my weekly check in (that haven't been happening regularly for a while). There was good news and bad. The bad news is that I'm hovering at my highest (new life) weight. The good news is that I gained less than 2 pounds during the holidays.

I did crochet for an episode of Madam Secretary last night and I read two chapters of my book before bed.


Breakfast: leftover sausage bake from BFF. (It has Italian sausage, potatoes, carrots, onion, fennel, garlic and some other spices. It's too bad I can't cook an over-medium egg at work to plop on top. But it is a delicious and almost paleo breakfast.)

Lunch: leftover paella. I make a mean paella. It takes about 3 hours and over $50 to make this dish, but it is so worth it. It makes a lot so the costs evens out, but it isn't something I make often. It is all made from scratch...even the stock. So very yum!

Snack: Turkey lunch meat with a laughing cow. This has prepackaged items, but not too bad. It is protein-centric and a healthy, filling snack.

Dinner: When I was in Key West on Christmas day, we stopped at Kermit's for some chocolate dipped key lime pie on a stick. YUM! While there I picked up some yummy and reasonable calorie key lime salad dressing. So this week I have all the makings of a good salad for dinner (romaine, cucumbers, radishes, red pepper, mushrooms, a little bleu cheese crumbles, a boiled egg, some extra chicken I cooked while making the paella, some craisins, & pecans.

I already logged everything into MFP and I'm right where I want to be. I even logged my entire paella recipe where usually, I just estimate using info already on MFP. I was within 30 calories...not too bad!


I have been SUCH a slacker. For January, my goal is to work out 6x per week including 3x yoga. I had a mammogram at lunch today (lucky me!) so today I will yoga after work. It will only be the second time, so I'm still nervous. Mostly I hate looking at myself in the giant mirror. I think a good goal would be to go until I can bear to look at myself. :-)


This makes me giggle but it is SO true. My jeans don't fit well at all. In fact, so many of my clothes are straining. I'm wearing what I have on today mostly because it was one of the only things that would be comfortable.
This is the tunic I got when shopping in Canton, with leggings and boots. I do have my new favorite bone & skull necklace on, so that's awesome. I feel cute, albeit puffy. I'm ready to lose this bloat!

I noticed at the doctor's office today that I can't really cross my legs comfortably. I wasn't able to cross my legs for years and it sucked. So this is a *danger danger* sign for me. Now I just have to get it done!