Making Time

Super busy today! Last night at the Dallas Grilled Cheese Company was so fun and the sandwiches were totally amazing.

 

We have been trying new restaurants once a month since October 2004. Craziness. We have a lot of fun together!

Food

Breakfast - meatloaf, egg, coffee
Lunch - Leftover BFF's GF meatloaf (I didn't even realize I had two kinds of meatloaf today until I logged it.) with shoepeg corn and cucumber salad
Snack - apple
Dinner - Home Chef Chicken and Mushroom tacos

Fitness

I ran at lunch today. It wasn't my best run, but I do seem to be getting more consistent. I'm going to leave for yoga in about 10 minutes.

Fashion

Today's Gwynnie Bee outfit:

Have to make it quick today, but I will leave you with this little funny I saw today on FB:

Hugs!

Be happy!

I've never been a perfectionist. I mean, I might want to get all the answers right on a test or something, but I never really fretted if I didn't. While I always want to win, I just don't get that worked up if I don't. I think this is something that has changed in me over the years. I let go more. But I have never been a perfectionist.

Yet I have always approached weight loss that way. It's all or nothing. It is perfection or giving up. It's strange. Why would would I approach what comes the most difficult to me in this way?

I have tried diet after diet, but I would always sabotage myself. (Richard had a great post about this today.) People are just different. Some people don't have to work that hard at being thin. Some people don't have to work that hard to get themselves to eat healthy. Some people don't have to work that hard to be kind to others. Some people don't have to work that hard to learn. Everyone is different.


Through the years, although I was a positive person, I was never really happy...or at peace. I totally lived my life for when I was 50 pounds lighter (or some other random weight). I had totally conflated being happy with being thin. Who knows what I missed out on because of my insecurity. But in 2009, I had had enough. I was 35 and in a downward spiral. I had to change and I did. But interestingly, even though I did change on the outside...

Original - Lowest Weight - Current

I have changed even more on the inside. I suppose I'm still quite insecure, but I have learned to focus inward. I want to leave the day a little brighter, a little happier, a better place than when I woke up, and that is where I put my focus.

Which bring me back to the beginning. If I'm going to be kind to others, I need to be kind to myself! It is a work in progress, but I'm getting there. Perfect should not be the enemy of good and I have really changed many habits for the good:

1. I hardly ever eat fast food when I used to have it multiple times a week.
2. I cook clean and low carb. (I hardly ever have pasta which used to be my "go to".)
3. I work out A LOT. (I didn't work out regularly until I was almost 30 and I started running at 35! At 40 I'm in WAY better shape than I was at 25.)
4. I used to drink about 10 diet cokes a day and now I might have one about once or twice a week.
5. Since moving downtown, I choose to walk. I often take the stairs. I walked to church on Saturday when I could have easily driven the roughly 2 mile round trip.

Right there, five quick things that I do now that I didn't used to do. That may not be perfect, but it is good! My blog has been a little retrospective lately, but I needed a gut check.


Food

Breakfast - Leftover Breakfast Meatloaf, boiled egg, coffee
Lunch - Leftover Home Chef Honey Chicken Thighs, sweet potato wedges and cucumber salad

Snack - I'm hoping to not need one but if I do, I have an apple.
Dinner - GRILLED CHEESE (?!?!)

Tonight is my girls dinner and BFF has chosen a grilled cheese restaurant. I'm going to enjoy the heck out of it!

Fitness

Yoga felt great last night. I did every single move for the first time! Some weren't held long or done perfectly, but I was at least able to give every thing a shot. Progress!

I went to run at lunch today and I had forgotten my sports bra. There are many things I can work around, but that is just not one of them. So I went for a walk instead. I didn't get my heart rate up the same way, but I still burned way more calories than sitting still.

Fashion

Today's Gwynnie shirt. I wore this out on Saturday and I really like it!

You can't tell, but it is actually blue-green sparkles.

I will leave you with:

This is from the Mavs halftime performance last month.

Hugs!

Here I Am!

Today is one of those days that I made a decision. Today, in the olden days, I would have not blogged thereby setting off a chain of events. I don't know what those events might be, but history tells me it wouldn't be so great in the long run.

Why would I have not blogged today? Because it is Monday and I had a (super amazing totally fun) weekend of eating, drinking and not working out that resulted in the same old, same old Monday morning bloat that I complained about last week. Well, I'm down a half pound from last week, so I guess there is that. Who wants to hear about my never-ending hamster wheel of bad choices, I mean really.

Then I realized the fact that I am on this "Never ending quest" is right there in my title. So who the hell cares. I have to blog every Monday to remind myself that I have to work hard Monday-Thursday so I can enjoy my weekends and not end up back where I started. Would I like to maintaining at about 20 pounds less? Sure. But I'm not sure that is the most important thing to me.

That made me realize that I actually AM different today:

A. What other people think about my body and all that is related to it is mattering less and less to me. I care what people think about the content of my character, my work ethic, my attitude and SO many other things. But for the first time in my life, I'm not motivated by the fear of being put down for my weight or inability to control it.

B. My never ending quest isn't to be thin. It is to be a good, happy and peaceful person. Part of that is health, part of that is feeling pretty, and part of that is balancing nutrition with my love for pizza.

C. Getting myself in line every Monday doesn't make me hate myself anymore. It makes me proud of myself that I have found a way to grab hold whenever I slip. I no longer see it as failure but as a success.

D. This is what happy feels like. :) So I must be doing something right. Onward!

So back to writing about my intentions for the day!

Food

Breakfast: I made a batch of Slow Cooker Breakfast Meatloaf a few weeks ago and froze half. I broke it out this week. I forgot how much I liked it. I had a slice with a boiled egg and some coffee.
Lunch: Leftover Home Chef Honey Chicken Thighs with cucumber salad
Snack: Apple & yogurt
Dinner: Leftover Home Chef Chicken Tacos

Let me talk just a little more about Home Chef. I'm in love with this service. I cook everything up on Sunday (which I know wouldn't be for everyone, but works for me) unless BFF & I eat some over the weekend. This Friday, BFF came over and I fixed Swiss Style Potato and Leek Rosti with garbanzo bean salad. I was worried that it wouldn't be great, but since we don't eat meat on Fridays during Lent, I gave it a shot.

They were DELICIOUS!

I would have never in a million years made something like this and I'm so glad I tried it. Basically it was little hashbrown patties made from grated potatoes and sauteed leeks. Super simple flavors.

I made up the chicken thighs and chicken taco filling yesterday for the upcoming week and both were amazing when I test tasted them. I know that this system isn't right for everyone, but it is really good for me. It gives me lots of variety while eating clean and healthy.

Fitness

I didn't realize that I hadn't posted in so many days. I blame the weather which messed up my routine (we were off work on Thursday) which causes me to lose focus. Anyway, when I last left you, I was nervocited about a new yoga class. I'm happy to report that while it was super mega hard, it was great! I will definitely go back when given the opportunity. It was more pilates than yoga, so lots of glute and ab work, which let's face it...who couldn't use that? I'm still heavy enough that planks get really tough on my wrists. But I worked REALLY hard and burned twice as many calories as my regular yoga class. It wasn't relaxing like regular yoga, but it was a good workout!

I didn't end up running my 5K on Saturday, but I did run on Friday. Today I ran at lunch...on the treadmill since it is raining so bonus points. I walked for a minute after the first mile, but then ran through 31:00. I really hope that it is nice enough tomorrow to go outside to run at lunch. I just like it so much better.

Tonight I'm going to my normal yoga class. I think it is going to feel great!

Fashion

Today's Gwynnie dress:

And a couple of fun things to leave you with:

Shout Out to Sarah for checking on me and for being altogether awesome. If you don't follow her, you should.

Hugs!

Just another Tuesday

Yesterday was stellar. If I had time to work out twice a day every day and still have a life, I would might be thin... I dropped much of the weekend bloat. I have no idea why my body does that, but I'm used to it.

Food

Breakfast - yogurt & granola bar
Lunch - Home Chef Gorgonzola Pork Chop Almondine (this meal was a little more high calorie than most because of the Gorgonzola cheese, but it is perfect for lunch on a running day!)
Snack - Fresh strawberries & pineapple with some mixed nuts.
Dinner - Home Chef Beef Enchiladas. I haven't tried these yet, but I made the filling over the weekend and it looks good!

Fitness

Ran at lunch today. I couldn't take another day on the treadmill so I convinced Godmother to go outside even though it was raining. I'm a bit of a drowned rat, but I don't regret it for a second.

I'm nervocited to try a new yoga class today. It is at the same place that I usually go it is just a different class. This one is more Pilates based and I think it will probably be more challenging. The room temp is still "just" 90 degrees though. I'm not ready to go back into the 100 degree class yet.

Fashion

Today's Gwynnie dress with my own cardigan:

I'm not 100% they go together but I liked the combo so I went with it. Here's a selfie just because I'm feeling good and loving myself right now:

Even with the post workout hair and all my makeup run off... I am who I am and I'm finally getting cool with that.

I think I should be fine the rest of the day. As long as I can get myself to yoga (both Debster and Lizard are going as well), I don't foresee any challenges.

Hugs!

Reset...click, click

Yowza, I was NOT good this weekend. Being iced-in obviously does not work for me. I did not work out, I ate like crap and just was not productive at all. Time for one big fat reset.

On a positive note, I will say that I didn't buy a lot of snacks so even though I did not eat super healthy the last few days, I didn't go crazy. It wasn't like the old days where I used a break in my routine as an excuse to live on mac and cheese and Doritos. But still, my bloat from this morning tells me that I made a ton of bad choices.

Monthly Check In

I knew that February was going to be challenging. I had a work trip and several nights out. It could have been disaster. But until the past few days, I did a great job of staying focused and otherwise, would have had a really good month. I ended up losing 2.2 pounds this month which isn't astounding but I will never begrudge a loss.

Measuring showed the biggest loss on my arms, 1/2 inch loss on each. Another 1/2 inch around the waist and 1/4 inch around the neck. It isn't as exciting as last month, but again...right direction.

I'm ignoring my weekly check in because with the bloat I have today, I'm at almost a 4 pound gain for the week which I know is not real. We will see where I land over the next few days.

Food

My Home Chef meals look fantastic this week! I ran out of free boxes, but I will let you all know when I get more if you are interested in trying it. This week I chose steak with roasted root vegetables, gargonzola pork chops almondine and beef enchiladas.

Breakfast - coffee, boiled egg, & peach greek yogurt
Lunch - steak & roasted root vegetables
Snack - the company is having dessert today so I will have a small serving of whatever is provided
Dinner - beef enchiladas

Fitness

I was supposed to have a work lunch today that was cancelled. Luckily I had my running clothes packed so I will run at lunch AND I'm going to Jazzercise tonight. That should help jumpstart me for the week!

It is a fairly routine week so there shouldn't be many challenges. It is the perfect time to get myself refocused before I can really get off the rails.

(I wrote this post in the early morning, but I waited to publish until after my run. I actually did it. I wasn't able to run the whole thing today. Between being on the treadmill and several days of lethargy, I couldn't make it happen. But I did run about 2/3 and my Fitbit said I burned 490 calories in 35:00, so that's awesome.)

Fashion

Today's Gwynnie dress (the blazer is mine):

There will be challenges in March, just like every month. But I am learning to live my life and stay on my path at the same time. I think the key is catching myself during times like this and righting the ship quickly instead of dragging my feet. That is quite a mixed metaphor, but you get the idea.

Losing weight over 40 is WAY harder than just a few years ago. But I'm discovering that focusing on how I feel vs. what the scale says helps. The scale and my body will catch up eventually.

Hugs!