Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Be happy!

I've never been a perfectionist. I mean, I might want to get all the answers right on a test or something, but I never really fretted if I didn't. While I always want to win, I just don't get that worked up if I don't. I think this is something that has changed in me over the years. I let go more. But I have never been a perfectionist.

Yet I have always approached weight loss that way. It's all or nothing. It is perfection or giving up. It's strange. Why would would I approach what comes the most difficult to me in this way?

I have tried diet after diet, but I would always sabotage myself. (Richard had a great post about this today.) People are just different. Some people don't have to work that hard at being thin. Some people don't have to work that hard to get themselves to eat healthy. Some people don't have to work that hard to be kind to others. Some people don't have to work that hard to learn. Everyone is different.

Through the years, although I was a positive person, I was never really happy...or at peace. I totally lived my life for when I was 50 pounds lighter (or some other random weight). I had totally conflated being happy with being thin. Who knows what I missed out on because of my insecurity. But in 2009, I had had enough. I was 35 and in a downward spiral. I had to change and I did. But interestingly, even though I did change on the outside...

Original - Lowest Weight - Current
I have changed even more on the inside. I suppose I'm still quite insecure, but I have learned to focus inward. I want to leave the day a little brighter, a little happier, a better place than when I woke up, and that is where I put my focus.
Which bring me back to the beginning. If I'm going to be kind to others, I need to be kind to myself! It is a work in progress, but I'm getting there. Perfect should not be the enemy of good and I have really changed many habits for the good:
  1. I hardly ever eat fast food when I used to have it multiple times a week.
  2. I cook clean and low carb. (I hardly ever have pasta which used to be my "go to".)
  3. I work out A LOT. (I didn't work out regularly until I was almost 30 and I started running at 35! At 40 I'm in WAY better shape than I was at 25.)
  4. I used to drink about 10 diet cokes a day and now I might have one about once or twice a week.
  5. Since moving downtown, I choose to walk. I often take the stairs. I walked to church on Saturday when I could have easily driven the roughly 2 mile round trip.
Right there, five quick things that I do now that I didn't used to do. That may not be perfect, but it is good! My blog has been a little retrospective lately, but I needed a gut check.


Breakfast - Leftover Breakfast Meatloaf, boiled egg, coffee
Lunch - Leftover Home Chef Honey Chicken Thighs, sweet potato wedges and cucumber salad

Snack - I'm hoping to not need one but if I do, I have an apple.
Dinner - GRILLED CHEESE (?!?!)

Tonight is my girls dinner and BFF has chosen a grilled cheese restaurant. I'm going to enjoy the heck out of it!


Yoga felt great last night. I did every single move for the first time! Some weren't held long or done perfectly, but I was at least able to give every thing a shot. Progress!

I went to run at lunch today and I had forgotten my sports bra. There are many things I can work around, but that is just not one of them. So I went for a walk instead. I didn't get my heart rate up the same way, but I still burned way more calories than sitting still.


Today's Gwynnie shirt. I wore this out on Saturday and I really like it!

You can't tell, but it is actually blue-green sparkles.

I will leave you with:

This is from the Mavs halftime performance last month.


Gwen said...

Interesting post. You know, having read that, it suddenly occurred to me....now you might think me a bad mother, but I taught my daughters, when it came to premarital sex, this:

Don't ever do anything that at some point in your life, you will regret. Some bells can never be unrung. If you have sex with someone before you get married, make sure you care enough about that person that even if you break up, it isn't going to be something you regret. Regret is a very powerful thing.

AND, it occurs to me, that eating nutritiously, or not, is almost the same thing. I now equate my eating not as a diet (even a maintenance diet)...I equate it as eating for optimal health. I look at food, and decide if it will help my health, or be a detriment. With that comes the 'will I regret eating this food, or not?' Same thing.


The Happy Whisk said...

Hi - Where did you live before you moved downtown?

Sounds like a great list of things you've done to care for yourself. Very cool.

I haven't been to Richard's blog yet but I'm headed over there in a bit.

Wishing you a Happy Week.

Richard said...

Thanks you for linking to my blog. I was so surprise to come visit you this morning and finding out this, first time ever. You made my day :)

“I have changed even more on the inside” It doesn’t mater the number of diets and the times we spend exercising, if we see yourself as fat, we will be fat at some point. The change has to be inside us before even starting this quest!

I would rather be imperfect and myself then perfect but someone else lie.

You look really great; if I was 10 years younger, single, living close by, I’ll run after you… but you would probably run too fast for me LOL

Sarah Kopf said...

You know- your line about living your life for when you were 50 lbs lighter really resonates with me. I've been doing that... It's a horribly bad habit for me. In fact, I've started making a list of all the things I want to do! Traveling is number one. I haven't traveled because jumping on a plane as an overweight person is not fun to me. But there are LOTS of places I want to go! :) Also, parasailing! That's going on the list for this summer!

Way to have made ALL of those changes! When I read that you thought you were healthier at 40 than you were at 25 I was SO happy for you! You're AWESOME!


Lori said...

I don't know why, but I think it is a common misconception that life will be so much better at our goal weights.

I am battling that all or nothing mindset with dieting as well.

We'll get there together!