My abs weep.

Remember how I did all those sit ups on Tuesday?  O. M. G.  My abs hurt so much that I can't even stand up straight.  However, they will stretch out eventually and I feel the best I have in months.  :-)  Abs be damned!!

I'm looking forward to my mom flying in tonight.  We always have a good time together.  I don't have any big plans, but enough to keep us busy.

Tonight is my last night of Jazzercise.  I've decided to change up my schedule a bit for a few months which means I won't be able to work in my normal Jazzercise classes.  I will still be doing CrossFit though.  I love Jazzercise and I'm sure I will be back to it someday.

Tomorrow my company is having a cookout and short day.  I probably won't get a chance to check in before the weekend, so have a wonderful holiday!

Hugs!

Feeling Great!

I was just thinking this morning that it is so nice to feel like myself again.  After my surgery, during recovery and even after my vacation, I just didn't feel like myself.  I don't like it when I'm not cheery, damnit.  :-)

Last night I went to pick up the Skittle and I'm glad to say that she looks as adorable as ever.  They had to replace the fender and another small part, then they painted the front end and the door.  She looks really nice.  Hopefully nothing falls off later or anything!!

There was no question last night about me going to CrossFit this morning.  I went home and packed my bag first thing.  I went to sleep at a reasonable hour.  I did wake up in the middle of the night with my arm insicions hurting.  I was laying on my arms at an angle that made them burn.  No bueno.  But I went back to sleep.  Then I got up and drove to class.  I was super excited to see THREE of my donut crew girls there which helped me get to know a couple of the new girls since they all know each other.  I knew 2-3 of the guys too.  It felt a little more comforting.  I only quit about FIVE times in my head during the 1/4 mile warm up run.  Baby steps!!

During the rest of the warm up, I still felt woefully out of shape.  But that's the thing with cardio, you have to just keep doing it.  It will get better with time.  The WOD:

Back Squats:  2 sets of 5, then 1 max rep

Press:  2 sets of 5, then 1 max rep

5 sets of 5 pull ups (add weight each rep)

Last night I looked up what I had done last time which was pre-surgery, so... sometime in April or May.  Yeesh...that was a LONG time ago.  I squatted 105# and pressed 65#.  The girl I partnered with this morning said those sounded like good weights to her, so I went for it.  My cardio was shot, but it was time to see if I retained any of my muscles.  :)

Back squats basically work your legs.  Since the weight just rests on your shoulders, your upper body doesn't work a lot.  I did my two sets of 5 reps at 105#.  It was hard, but I managed.  I actually squeezed out 9 during my max reps.  Y'all, I'm not going to lie.  I was SO excited!!  Next time I will get to move forward and that is awesome.

I love this video.  It really shows the difference between these three moves.  We did the Press today which is the one on the left.  It is ALL upper body.  You can't use momentum from your legs or bouncing.  With 65#, I was able to do my 2 sets of 5 and on my max rep, I did 6.  I felt strong!  And again so excited because I'm right where I left off as far as strength.

Then it was time for pull ups.  I knew I couldn't do weighted pull ups, heck I can't even do unassisted pull ups.  So, I set up my band to do assisted pull ups:

You can see what I mean here, but I have to use the strongest green band.  As soon as I hung from the bar, I knew it wasn't going to happen.  The new boobies and the pecs over them said "absolutely not, sister".  So the coaches told me to do push ups instead.  I'm not sure how long it will be until I can do pull ups again, but seeing as I can still feel my pecs (2 hours later), I think it is going to be quite a while.  That's okay though, I'm not going to do anything that will cause problems and I know if I'm patient, eventually I will be able to do everything. 

I used no weight for the first set, 10# for the second, 15# for the third and fourth, and 25# for the fifth.  Not bad!

I'm trying really hard not to be embarrassed by this picture.  I'm mostly having success.  :)  I just have to keep working!!  And keep reminding myself that I would have HATED a picture like this three years ago...heck, I couldn't have held myself on the bar three years ago.

When I got to work, I got a call from my city's fire department, and I have been confirmed for the Citizen's Fire Academy that starts in a few weeks.  Basically it is a 3 hour class once a week for 9 weeks to learn about the fire department.  I thought it sounded like a fun thing to do.  They aren't 100% sure that they are going to have enough people, so fingers crossed!  I changed my entire schedule for this, so I will be bummed if they cancel it.  But no big deal, I'm all flexible and "go with the flow" these days, right??

My mommacita is coming to visit and is supposed to get in tomorrow night.  Hopefully Isaac won't get in the way, but I think she should be okay.   Speaking of Isaac, thinking of all my Gulf Coast bloggy buddies!!  

My whole body aches when I stretch...and it is AWESOME!!  

Big hugs!! 

Thank you!

Love reading the sweet words people had to say about me over at BOOB of the Day.  Even more motivation!  I haven't felt this inspired in quite some time.  I really love this community and I thank you!

Beth Ann is BOOB of the Day

For those non-BOOB's that might read my blog.  BOOB stands for the Band of Outrageous Babes and consists of many amazing bloggers. 

Chicago, here we come!!

HUGS!

I used to be good at situps...

My attempt to talk myself out of going to CrossFit this morning started during Jazzercise last night.  We had an incident where one of the students fell and hurt herself.  All of the class managers jumped into action and we got her the help she needed.  I was really proud of the group as a whole!  Anyway, that was added drama and when I went back to working out after helping, I strained my back a wee bit.  I do that a lot.  It is not abnormal in any way.  But on my way home, I almost talked myself out of going to CrossFit the NEXT MORNING.

But I got home, packed my bag and made sure everything was ready.  I had a hard time falling asleep and again told myself that if I don't sleep, I can't go.  Sigh...  I got to sleep and woke up to the alarm at 5:30.  I turned on the TV and they said that there were traffic backups in the area where I work out.  Ohhh...I really must not be meant to go, right?  Bleh.  I got up and I went.

That was when discovered how painfully out of shape I really have gotten during my recovery and vacation.  As I have said many times, I wouldn't change a thing about the last several months.  But facts are facts and my body has suffered a bit on the fitness front.  It is time to get back what I lost.  During the 400m warm up jog (this takes what? 2-3 minutes) I had quit completely in my head about 10 times, decided I was never coming back, I hate this crap.  I want to be fat.

After the warm up, we did power snatches.  (Done giggling?  Okay.)  Since my back was tender, I went conservative with the weights, but by the last set, still lifted the most I have in the past.  I think I could have gone another 10 pounds or so, but I really didn't want to hurt my back and I think it was the right move.  It did, however, give me hope that my muscles have maintained somewhat and I don't need to "start over" as far as weights are concerned.

After that, we did 50-40-30-20-10 lateral hops (double unders for those more coordinated than me) and sit ups.  YAY!  Sit ups are my thing!  During most workouts, if there are sit ups, that's were I would make up ground!!  ...not today.  My abs are jello.  After the first 50, I thought I was going to die.  I'm quite sure that I did not do the full rounds of 40 & 30 which disappoints me, but I dug in to finish the 20 & 10.  I was the last one done, as usual, but I worked REALLY hard.  And for that, I will be proud.  I WAS proud, but also pissed off.  Pissed off that my abs had let me down like that.  By the end of the workout, I was again committed to getting my body back into the shape it was before and beyond. 

Sitting here now, I roll my eyes at my attempts to talk myself out of doing the one thing that is going to get me to my end goals faster and more efficiently than any other thing.  Why is it such an effort to get it done?

• I have been in "inactive" mode.  It is hard to move to "active" mode.
• It is REALLY early in the morning. 
• There are lots of new people in the class that don't necessarily know that I'm working my ass off even though I finish last, modify the set, etc.

Ooooohhhhh...ding, ding, ding, I think we have a winner.  Since I have been CrossFitting, I have only gone to the 6am classes (with the exception of 2 9am classes where I knew some folks that moved from the 6am class).  I had gotten to know most of the regulars and felt "safe" and confident.  I never went to the afternoon/evening classes and I never went to Saturday classes.  I didn't go to them, because I didn't know the people that were going to be there and I didn't want to feel insecure.  That is how I'm feeling with 6am now because during my 3 month absence, the classmates have changed.  Since I have been back, I have only recognized 1-3 people each class.  It is WAY outside my comfort zone and it makes me not want to do it.

I'm here to say that I'm not going to allow my insecurities to stop me.  Not this time.  I will go to CrossFit three times per week in September.  I'm also going to try the new yoga class they are offering even though it scares the crap out of me to think about it.  No one is paying attention to the fact that I'm last or whatever.  And if they are, screw them.  I'm working hard and I want to get myself to work harder. 

I will never be younger than I am right now.  I will never be skinny.  I will never not have scars on the backs of my arms from where excess skin was removed. 

BUT,

I can be in shape.  I can be smaller.  I can get my body to do things it hasn't yet been able to do.

My goal for tomorrow:  get to CrossFit. 

One Day At A Time.

Hugs!!

One successful week down!

Last week sucked.  Whether I truly had post-vacation depression or a series of bad events or I was just whiny...it sucked.  I'm proud to say that I powered through it and even prouder to say that I lost 3.4 pounds.  I still have a long way to go to get rid of the post-surgery and vacation weight (not to mention those other pesky pounds to get me to my next goal), but it is a start.

I have three commitments I have made to myself for this week:

1. I will work out 4 times before my mom comes to visit on Thursday night.  Jazzercise on Monday & Thursday and CrossFit on Tuesday & Wednesday.  This is completely doable, I just have to quitting breeding lazy.
2. I will follow the food plan I have set for myself.  I have everything I need to have a healthy week.  I just have to choose to eat it. 
3. I will NOT tank myself while my mom is here.  My mom is also trying to lose a few pounds after a summer of traveling, so there should be no excuse not to eat healthy while she is here.  We have a bad history of enabling each other, but I have every confidence that we can do the right thing!

I spent a lot of money this summer.  I don't for one second regret my surgery or my vacation, but both were a tremendous cash drain.  I would like to abstain from shopping as much as possible for the remainder of the year. 

I have two trips coming up:  my 20th high school reunion and BOOBs.  I WANT to shop for new outfits for both, but I have plenty of clothes in my closet.  Heck, if I lose 10 pounds, I have a GORGEOUS wardrobe.  :-)  Maybe while mom is here, we can pick out some outfits for me to take.  I know I have some fun dresses that I have been wanting to wear so this is perfect!

Losing weight is hard.  Losing 85 pounds in the first year after being banded took so much commitment and dedication.  Since that time, I have enjoyed my new life, but I have been lax.  If I am going to lose 30 pounds which is what I want to do, it is going to take that same commitment and dedication.  Actually, it might take more.  While there is no "end", I do know that I'm decent at maintenance.  However, LOSING takes a lot more OOMPH than maintenance.  Time to get it done.

One week down.  Let's see what I can do for week #2!

HUGS!

So happy it's Friday!!

I think I realized something important yesterday.  I think I have the post-vacation blues.  I have been waiting for this trip for almost two years and I have been actively planning it for over a year.  Now it's over.  I have never been the kind of person to feel this way, but it seems to be the case.  I have always chosen to be happy, so now that I suspect this is happening, I can work on changing it.

My fill has gone very well  so far, so that's good.  I think the most important thing I can do for myself is to do a meal plan for the next week, go to the grocery store and get everything ready.  I am the first to admit, that I have a horrible relationship with food and I make very bad choices when I'm tired/hungry/anxious and don't have a plan. 

The second thing I can do is get active.  A friend shared this today:

While I've always known this to be true, I realized when I read it, that I'm living the first sentence.  Yes, I realize that I've had a less than stellar week.  But usually, I don't let those kinds of things stop me.  Yet this week, I have used any excuse to not do anything.  I even ended up working from home a portion of yesterday afternoon for no other reason than I just felt overwhelmed. 

That is when I had an A-HA moment and realized that I missed planning my vacation.  Isn't that crazy?  But I know that is what has me so in the dumps.  Time to power through and get happy!

For next week, I had just about convinced myself to Jazzercise my assigned days and deal with everything else later.  Meaning, no challenge to my workout routine.  Well, there is no later.  Later could have me convinced to stop eating right...  So my commitment to next week is to work out M-Th.  (2 Jazzercise, 2 CrossFit)  My mom is coming to visit for the holiday weekend and that is going to be a blast. 

September I start my new workout schedule.  The plan is to CrossFit on Mondays, Tuesdays, & Thursdays each week.  If I can successfully do that, which in NO WAY is that big of a deal, I will add a fourth day each week in October. 

I know I can do this and I know by eating right and working out consistently, I will feel so much better.  I just have to get the activity started so I can fuel more.

Have a great weekend, all!!

HUGS!

Bettter Than Yesterday

Our CrossFit box has a motto of "Better Than Yesterday".  That is my motto today!  Yesterday....well, it wasn't the best day.

I went in for my fill and the new PA was there to do it.  She started by putting in 2 cc's and I asked her to back off that a little because I have a tendency to be on the tighter side.  She offered to just do 1 cc at a time, but since I pay for each visit, we agreed to split the difference at 1.5 cc's.

Y'all, I knew before I walked out of that office that I was too tight.  I just kept telling myself that I didn't remember what it was like to be tight and that I was just being a baby.  Ha!  Obviously I continued not to feel well.  I went to lunch with my friends and ordered hot & sour soup.  I ate about 5 or 6 spoonfuls of broth and I could do no more.  In addition, I hurt.  That was the kicker.  You should never hurt.

So, I ended up wasting most of my day as I headed back to Ft. Worth for the second time that day.  She ended up taking out .3 cc's.  I think I'm at the correct level now, but we will have to see.  I was able to drink water just fine.  Last night I was able to eat a portion of a smoothie and some creamy soup.

Today, I have had my coffee and protein drink.  I'm planning on more cream soup for lunch.  I will add mushies tomorrow.  The kicker will be when it is time to eat "real" food.  Fingers crossed!

After all of that, we went to the Rangers game last night.  It was super fun and I was with several of my friends in a suite.  I was preoccupied though with all the things I had to do over the next few days.  We left before the game was over (around 9pm) and headed home.  On my way out of the parking lot, I had an accident.  BFF & I (as well as the passengers in the other car) are totally fine, but the Skittle has sustained quite a bit of damage.

The accident was my fault.  I pulled out into the lane in front of someone who then hit me.  I will say that I didn't see the person AT ALL and I believe that he was not looking up when he hit me.  But it is still my fault and I accept that.  Thank goodness for insurance! 

THAT did not help my day.  However, I got everything squared away with the insurance company and I have to take my car in to be fixed tomorrow.  The bad news is that I have to pay the $500 deductible.  But the good news is that it could be much higher and my insurance even covers a rental car.  So, at this point, it is mostly just a nuisance.

I will say that even all this drama is not keeping me from making good food choices.  Although, when you are on liquids, you only have so many options.  But I could have eaten a gallon of Blue Bell last night and I didn't.  :)  That's a good choice, right?

I'm feel a little more determined this time than I have in a while.  I'm trying very hard not to focus on numbers...just on good behaviors. 

Hugs!

What works for me?

Let me start by summarizing my last few months:

• I had life changing surgery with my arm lift, breast lift & augmentation.
• I took a once in a lifetime vacation for two weeks in London during the Olympics.
• I gained a lot of weight. 

Those are the highlights anyway.  I will probably write a little more on the trip later, but right now I want to focus on my weight loss, or lack thereof. 

During my recovery, I couldn't work out.  I tried eating Paleo and while it is amazing in theory, I couldn't get it to work for me.  You want to know why?  Because I kept making excuses and I didn't follow the program.  It is the story of my life, so there is really no surprise there.  :)

So, Paleo didn't work.  What did work for me? 

What worked for me was having my band at proper restriction

and eating according to the gastric banding "rules."

OMG.  What a concept!  I can say with confidence, that I have had my band at "proper" restriction many times over the last few years.  But it was only when I was following the rules, that I had true and lasting success.  I type this as I just stuffed a ginormo bite of breakfast in my piehole.  Nice, Beth Ann.  Very nice.

So, what's the plan?

1. Tomorrow, I go in for a fill. 
2. I have printed out my rules for eating like a bandster and I will follow it.
3. I will drink water.
4. I will work out consistently.
5. I will blog.

Those are the things I did during my extended period of weight loss.  When I started pushing the rules, eating things that I "could" eat instead of focusing on what I "should" eat was when I stopped losing.  I do feel strongly that the biggest reason I gained weight was because I could exercise.  That's fine and I don't regret my surgery or my vacation, but now I can't just maintain.  I have to lose.

Additionally, blogging is an integral part of me losing weight.  I make all sorts of excuses of why I can't blog, but if I'm honest with myself it is because I don't want to admit I'm failing.  Blogging makes me be accountable and I only don't do it when I don't want to face up to my actions.  Do I really want to lose weight?  Yes, I believe I do. 

My rules (mostly stolen from Maria...):

1. Small meals
2. Small bites
3. Heed your stop signs
4. Do not drink while eating
5. Protein first!
6. Avoid junk
7. Water, water, water
8. No liquid calories
9. Chew
10. Is it worth it?

I have 5 weeks until my 20th high school reunion and 6 weeks to BOOBs.  I can't say how much I will lose, but I know that if I follow the rules for nutrition and work out, then I will feel so much better about myself when it is time to meet up with old friends.  That's what matters, right?

Hugs!