I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated because the scale while moving up and down daily, has been in the same range for a week. I'm doing all the right things, everything I can do.
Believe me, I know that my body has been through a lot of stress so it probably is just reacting to that. I could be retaining water because of the recent start with activity or from hormones. I should have started my period a couple of days ago and I haven't, so I know that is probably itl.
Just because I know all these things, doesn't keep me from being frustrated. :-) So, I will focus on something else. There is no questions that I can see results of my labors. Yesterday it was even more clear to me. My workout buddy couldn't work out yesterday, but I went anyway. I noticed when I changed that I had the same outfit I wore several weeks ago at the start of this. That day I had my friend take a picture. Yesterday, I stopped a random person in the locker room and had her take my picture. When I compared the two, I forgot about the scale:
I don't super love putting pictures of me looking like this out into the world, but whatevs. You can see on the left just how bloated I was. On the right, I feel so much more like myself. I'm smack in the middle of my "normal" weight zone. I'm sure in the 6 months I have been inactive, I have lost some of the muscle I worked so hard to build, but I can get that back in time.
It is hard to explain how I felt from October-March. It was like I was in a fog and watching my life on TV. I knew I wanted to feel better, but it was like I was powerless to control it. I would imagine it is what depressed people feel like all the time. My heart goes out, truly. At least I knew my struggle was temporary. I'm still amazed that the very night after my surgery when I laid in bed and even through all the surgery pain, I was so happy not to feel the effects of the hernia. No more fluttering around in my chest. No more wicked acid reflux. It all was all gone. In the last few weeks, I think I have gotten some of my best sleep in years!
Now that the haze from surgery and medication and all that nonsense is gone, I really feel like myself. That is truly what this was all about. I'm going to work hard to lose weight, just like I always have. I know that no matter what, it is going to be a struggle for the rest of my life. I'm okay with that as long as I feel like me.
So, today instead of being annoyed at the stuck scale, I'm going to be so happy that I'm back.
I saw this on Facebook yesterday and it made me think of my post about scars. I like it!