Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Back to Bidness

Okay, okay, excitement is over and it is time to get back to work.  I allowed myself a little stress eating over the last week or so and it is time to change back to good choices.  I'm not talking anything crazy, just bad decisions where normally I would make good ones.  Now that just about everyone knows what I'm doing (just have my support group and dinner group to tell), it is time to quit making excuses.

I wish I were one of those people that decided I was going to do something and then would do it.  Well, actually I am that person in almost every other part of my life.  But with food, I'm not.  But I do think I'm learning to live with my issues.
  1. I no longer go off the rails like the "old" days.  Honestly, I'm not sure if that is even possible with the help of my Band.  This is when I know I needed this little booger.  Even if I would have found a way to get the weight off, I know I couldn't have maintained it.  I don't like that about myself, but I'm happy that I found something to help me control it.
  2. I don't hide food.  Even if I eat something away from other people, like when I'm at home by myself, I don't hide it or lie about it.  This was a big deal "before".  I would eat in secret all the time because I was ashamed of what I was doing.  I can truly say that is no longer the case. 
  3. I am better about using my splurge calories for good, not for evil.  Meaning, I will choose things I really enjoy as opposed to eating high calorie foods that I don't even really like.  I used to do that all the time!  Especially with fast food.
  4. Speaking of fast food, I would say that other than Starbucks (which I don't count), I eat fast food (maybe?) once a month.  It just isn't part of my routine at all.
  5. I drink soda about once a month as well (on average.)
Those things really show me how much I have changed.  When I get annoyed at myself for the things I do, I have to take a minute to remind myself of how far I have come.  I'm not even the same person.  All that being said:
  1. I love when I hear people say that they eat to live, not live to eat.  I WISH I could be that way, but I'm not.  While I don't think I necessarily "live to eat", I know that I haven't reached the "eat to live" category either.  Food doesn't take up a lot of my thoughts during the day, but I obviously still make bad choices.
  2. I love food.  I do.  I love tasting something delicious and I don't think I want to live in a way that would deny me that.  I realize that there are people that think that is crazy and I don't know what to tell you.  I don't want to give up TV either.  Or drinking.  However, all of these things need to be "sometimes" things. 
  3. I do worse when I'm at home.  If there are snacks in the house, I will eat them.  I must make an effort to have healthy snacks on hand and not allow myself to buy the bad ones.  Honestly, this is when I know I'm not paying attention.  When I am, I simply don't have these things on hand.
I feel like, overall, I have found a real balance in my life.  However, right now I'm shifted to the "high" end of that balance and I need to shift it back to the "low" end before I lose control.  No biggie.  But I wanted to write this post to show that these shifts will always happen...or at least for me.  I just have to be honest with myself and aware so I can shift back when necessary. 

I'm cracking up because I just ran to the kitchen to get some water and I saw that our resident baker brought in yummies for Admin Day.  :-)  Isn't that how life works? 



Grizzlyrider said...

Yeah that happened to me too. I was barely able to choke down my oatmeal this morning and came to work to an entire brunch. Ate a couple bites feeling bad they went to so much trouble. Then stopped that, they are all aware of my situation - so just enjoyed the company and they all enjoyed it too. Guess I enjoyed it because I am no longer a slave to eating a big pile of everything there which I would have before. Just wish I would have given up on the oatmeal and been able to eat more of the egg bake at the brunch, oh well, it is only food - not the last time I'm going to eat!!! Happy Admin day!

Catherine55 said...

Great post --very thoughtful, and a great way to measure how far you've come!

Cat said...

I absolutely could have written this post word for word Hero. I think you have made some great changes! I know I have to get myself back on the low end of my all things in moderation scale. I've been eating like I'm at goal for a good 3 months now. I need to clean up my act and get back on track to get to goal. Heaven knows I'll be able to maintain! hahhaa.

chloes_countdown said...

such a great post. I'm so there with you on these things. I wish I could say that "food is fuel" for me...but not quite and probably not ever.

I also view the band a tool to help me keep the weight off more than losing it.

you're doing GREAT!

Lap Band Gal said...

Love this post :) Your first #2 is also something that I struggled with for a very very long time.

~Lisa~ said...

Excellent post!! Thank you for the "food for thought" - I NEEDED it!!