It has been 6 days since my last post. Damn it. Work is still very busy but I'm NOT complaining because I actually love it this way. I just have to figure out how to live in my new normal. Since I have a lot to say today, so here we go!
Yesterday, I got the most aggressive fill I've gotten in a very long time. I have been talking with Debi this morning about how we get back on track. I haven't been following band rules now for quite a while. I have been living loose (that sounds funny!) and working out to compensate. I weigh the same as I did back in April. Now, don't get me wrong, I look different than I did in April. Working out over 210 hours in a year will help with that!!
But even for the short bursts of trying, it was more like my pre-band kind of trying. "How much can I eat for XX calories" kind of dieting. I chose that over "band" dieting because I knew that I wanted to cheat when I wanted to. This is embarrassing to say, but it is becoming very clear to me.
I told Debi this morning that we established quite clearly that we SUCK at dieting. :) If I was great at it, I wouldn't have needed a band. So, it is time to use it again. I was on liquids all day yesterday and at dinner, I would eat one spoonful of soup then let it pass through. Then I would eat another and let it pass through. Many of you are saying to yourself, "yeah, so? That's how it works." But not for me...not for a LONG time!
I would eat mostly what I wanted and then work out 6 or 7 times a week. Honestly, for maintenance, I don't think that is going to be a horrible plan. But I really don't want to be in maintenance yet. I had made a goal with some friends (some of the best, most amazing people on the planet) to reach my goal of 165 by 2/29. That would have required losing 34 pounds in 5 months. 5 pounds a month? That should have been doable.
For the first month, I really "dieted" hard and I lost 6 pounds. I was on the right track! Then I just let it go, I think. I mean I would "try" but I didn't really commit. Even when I went to get a fill, I asked the doc to be very conservative because I knew I didn't want to give things up. I kept telling myself that I could do this on my own even though I CLEARLY can not. Since my Leap to Goal challenge started, I have lost 8.2 pounds. That isn't bad because it is in the right direction, but it is far from what I had wanted. And they were pounds that I had lost then put on again...
I will work hard for the next 2 weeks to do whatever I can. And I will be happy with that. Mostly, I'm just happy that this challenge brought me closer to people I care about!!
Today, I came to work armed with soup, cream of wheat and sugar free pudding. I'm going through a 2nd day of liquids/mushies. I'm going to baby this fill and really try and make it work for me like it did the first year I had the band. I know it works and why I have been putting off using it, I just don't know. Well I do know...I'm just ashamed to admit it.
Instead of weight goals, my new goals are going to be size related. My current goals are to fit comfortably into my new Mod Cloth dresses and my Levi size 10 jeans. I have been wearing my Cato size 10s, but they are a little roomier than the Levi's. I will keep you updated!!
CrossFit & Jazzercise
Even though I have been faltering with my food choices, I have been steadfast with my fitness goals!! Through last week, I have AVERAGED 6 hours per week of working out in 2012. That has to be a record for me!!
I have noticed a lot of differences at Jazzercise. I'm regularly using 10 pound hand weights when I used to use 8 pound weights. When we do push ups (girl style, but S-L-O-W which is harder!), I can straighten out my body as much as possible to make them as hard as possible (without doing big boy push ups...can't do that slow-like yet) and I can keep my form through the sets. During planks, I can hold them the entire time needed whether they are front, back or sideways. I can raise and lower myself to the floor during planks and I can lift my feet off the ground while keeping my booty off the floor. Both things I couldn't do well before!! My goal now is to be able to raise and lower my legs while in a a plank (either forward or sideways)...still haven't conquered that yet!
CrossFit has me doing all sorts of things I didn't expect I could do. I would really like to be able to do an unassisted pull up. I'm setting a goal of doing that (just one) by my birthday on June 7th.
It has been an roller coaster ride lately as far as the Olympics are concerned. I have a lot of GREAT tickets to events, but the ones I was most excited about turned out to not be what I thought they were. I still get irritated when I think about it, but it is such a small blip on a trip that is otherwise coming together perfectly.
I had wanted to see the USA Volleyball team before London. I think I mentioned before that normally World League play calls for 3 weekends in the US each summer. Because of the Olympics, World League has been condensed and there is only 1 weekend in each country. I have been waiting (not so) patiently for them to announce where and when it will be so I can try to make travel arrangements.
On my day off Monday, I was browsing the interwebs and found that the cities have been announced. The US weekend is at the end of June in...Dallas! Wha-what?? But that's where I live! No days off needed. No plane ticket. No hotel. Sigh. Perfection! The only thing that is a bummer is that BFF is out of town that weekend.
Last weekend I took my nephew (who visited me by himself and is just an AWESOME kid) to the Sixth Floor museum. That is the museum dedicated to the history of the JFK assassination which happened in Dallas. It is a cool museum if you are ever in the neighborhood.
In the lobby, I saw a Stephen King book called 11/22/63 (which is the date of the assassination). I LOVE Stephen King! I read a bit of the jacket and it seemed to be about time travel and a man's attempt to go back in time and try to thwart the assassination. I went home and downloaded it to my Kindle and I love it! For those of you that read and are interested in this genre, you should check it out.