When I point out my lapses or paleo "cheats", if you will, I am simply monitoring the deviations from my commitment. What I can't do is allow perfect to be the enemy of good. What I can't do is allow myself to quit because I had some wine or some beans. And that isn't my intention in the slightest.
In my brain, I will always be a fat girl. And I will always have to pay attention to what and how much I eat. That's okay. Knowing that keeps me on top of it most of the time. If I didn't, it would not take too long for me to be close to 300 pounds yet again. So, it is all VERY worth it to me.
However, with my fat girl mentality comes an amazing ability to rationalize and justify bad behavior. What I'm learning to do, and I think successfully, is to find the balance between expecting perfection and just chucking it all and living on doughnuts and Nutella.
I have one more week plus one day of this challenge. It is important to me to finish it strong. To prove to myself that I am in control of my choices. So that when I decide 2 months from now (or whenever) that I really want a piece of yummy bundt cake, that I can enjoy that sucker with no remorse. I will never be perfect, but I will be good. I have come a very long way.
CrossFit happened this morning. It was cold, but not as cold as it is supposed to be in the morning, so I crawled out of bed. We worked on muscle ups this morning, which I can't do so I worked on my pull ups. Muscle up:
Then we worked out. Five rounds of 10 lunges (holding a weight plate overhead), 10 box jumps, 10 sit ups, and 2 rope climbs (or 4 scaled rope climbs), resting after each round. Once finished, I was glad to be done and ready to go, but the trainer decided we needed some dessert. So we did 3:00 of planks and 20 push ups. I have to admit that it was some good extra ab work! Hopefully when I go back on Monday it will warm up a bit. I have apparently officially become a southerner.
Today's food plan:
Breakfast: Black coffee. Frittata.
Lunch: Sweet potatoes with duck confit and spicy broccoli covered with an over-medium fried egg. One of my favorite meals and one of my favorite restaurants!
Dinner: Going out for dinner as well, so some kind of meat with veggies or sweet potato depending on what is available. I will abstain from alcohol. This time. :)
I have noticed this week that I don't seem to need my afternoon snack. I haven't been eating more for breakfast or lunch, I don't think. But I seem to be full or satisfied anyway for longer. That is a definitely plus!