I had a few things happen lately to help me reassess my priorities. First, as you all know, my dear friend's husband passed away. Second, yesterday, my parents were in a car accident. They miraculously walked away unscathed, but they were broadsided, the car flipped and was totalled. My unbelievably strong 70 year old parents have barely scratches. I have nothing to say but thanks be to God.
Anyway, I ate like crap this weekend. I had ice cream, rum drinks and other things I'm sure. I (not surprisingly) was WAY up on the scale this morning. I felt myself start to flail a bit so I stopped and took stock. I realize that in the past, these things happening to me would have sent me into a self-sabotage spiral. Woe is me. Poor pitiful me. I need a burger. I need chocolate. Excuses, excuses, excuses. But what I realized is that while I was hanging off the wagon this weekend, I didn't really fall off and it is very easy to get righted again. That's why I got the Band in the first place.
I have come far enough that I feel in control of myself. And being in control of this part of my life helps me to not spiral out of control in the other parts of my life. I didn't lose 2.2 pounds or more this weekend. Okay. But I was still able to buy a pair of size 12 Levi's this weekend and a size 16 bathing suit that I don't hate. I keep telling everyone else that this is not a race. I need to remember that myself. I still have goals and I'm still working to reach them. I will not beat myself up and I will not quit. I'm in charge of my destiny.
Eating - I ate things this weekend that I shouldn't have for a person on a Swing for the Fences Challenge. If I want to reach my aggressive 100 pound loss goal by Easter, I had to be strict. I was not. Okay. That's okay. The one consistent thing about this journey is how I consistently fall down and pick myself up again. Sometimes monthly, sometimes weekly and sometimes daily. I'm doing that now. Dusting myself off and looking at my food plan for the week.
Exercise - I'm doing great in this department. I worked out at least 1290 minutes in March for an average of OVER 40 MINUTES PER DAY. That is GREAT! All of this exercise is good for my body and eventually the scale will catch up. While I'm still not sure I love exercise while it is happening, I love how I feel after and I love being able to do things I wasn't able to do before.
Outlook - Knowing myself as I do, I think it would be very easy for my to feel down today. But I don't. I think I mention this because it is such a different place for me to be. I was always so emotional before and any little thing made me crumble. But now, I feel so stable. It wasn't just losing weight (although that has helped my confidence), it is much more than that. I have found a peaceful place in my heart. The ups and downs of life come and I'm able to float on them like I'm on a raft in the waves.
I kind of rambled today, but this is where I am on a Monday morning. Not perfect, but content. Ready to keep driving forward without obssessing over the speed bumps. Just relaxing and riding the waves.