Monday, April 4, 2011

Assessing Priorities

I had a few things happen lately to help me reassess my priorities.  First, as you all know, my dear friend's husband passed away.  Second, yesterday, my parents were in a car accident.  They miraculously walked away unscathed, but they were broadsided, the car flipped and was totalled.  My unbelievably strong 70 year old parents have barely scratches.  I have nothing to say but thanks be to God.

Anyway, I ate like crap this weekend.  I had ice cream, rum drinks and other things I'm sure.  I (not surprisingly) was WAY up on the scale this morning.  I felt myself start to flail a bit so I stopped and took stock.  I realize that in the past, these things happening to me would have sent me into a self-sabotage spiral.  Woe is me.  Poor pitiful me.  I need a burger.  I need chocolate.  Excuses, excuses, excuses.  But what I realized is that while I was hanging off the wagon this weekend, I didn't really fall off and it is very easy to get righted again.  That's why I got the Band in the first place. 

I have come far enough that I feel in control of myself.  And being in control of this part of my life helps me to not spiral out of control in the other parts of my life.  I didn't lose 2.2 pounds or more this weekend.  Okay.  But I was still able to buy a pair of size 12 Levi's this weekend and a size 16 bathing suit that I don't hate.  I keep telling everyone else that this is not a race.  I need to remember that myself.  I still have goals and I'm still working to reach them.  I will not beat myself up and I will not quit.  I'm in charge of my destiny.

Eating - I ate things this weekend that I shouldn't have for a person on a Swing for the Fences Challenge.  If I want to reach my aggressive 100 pound loss goal by Easter, I had to be strict.  I was not.  Okay.  That's okay.  The one consistent thing about this journey is how I consistently fall down and pick myself up again.  Sometimes monthly, sometimes weekly and sometimes daily.  I'm doing that now.  Dusting myself off and looking at my food plan for the week. 

Exercise - I'm doing great in this department.  I worked out at least 1290 minutes in March for an average of OVER 40 MINUTES PER DAY.  That is GREAT!  All of this exercise is good for my body and eventually the scale will catch up.  While I'm still not sure I love exercise while it is happening, I love how I feel after and I love being able to do things I wasn't able to do before. 

Outlook - Knowing myself as I do, I think it would be very easy for my to feel down today.  But I don't.  I think I mention this because it is such a different place for me to be.  I was always so emotional before and any little thing made me crumble.  But now, I feel so stable.  It wasn't just losing weight (although that has helped my confidence), it is much more than that.  I have found a peaceful place in my heart.  The ups and downs of life come and I'm able to float on them like I'm on a raft in the waves. 

I kind of rambled today, but this is where I am on a Monday morning.  Not perfect, but content.  Ready to keep driving forward without obssessing over the speed bumps.  Just relaxing and riding the waves.



Pamela E. Williams said...

Such a great post. I think that everything is relative. We have to assess our priorities often. Glad you have such a positive outlook on things. Keep moving forward!!!

Liz said...

I'm so sorry about your parents' accident, but so happy and grateful that they are ok! I think under the circumstances, you can't beat yourself up about the eating at all. Good perspective on realizing what the old you WOULD have done, and recognizing the progress you've made.

FitBy40 said...

My mantra is "never going back". Even when you hit a bump in the road, that's OK because you're NEVER going back to the person you were last year. That's no longer an option. So, today is a new day, and this day is yours. Rock on!

Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

Good for you! I'm so glad your parents are okay, that is so scary!

Jen said...

Scary! I'm so glad they are OK. You've made amazing progress, I loved this post.

Laura Belle said...

Holy toledo! You are right on the money of exactly how my weekend went and my thought's about 'picking myself back up'. I didn't eat terrible, but not great, and I only exercised once. And expectantly, the scale was up 2 lbs this morning.

I seriously thought: well, i'm not going to make may goal of under 150 for this week, i might as well take this week 'off' and start again after the weekend.

Then I read your post and it all got put back into perspective. I don't need to completely fall off the wagon. I had a bad weekend, so what! Let's move on!

So thanks!

Justawallflower said...

so glad your parents are okay, first of all. And also very happy of where your headspace is. Of course you were up today, you had a good weekend with good food and drinks. It would be up for anyone, no matter what their weight issues (or lack of issues). But guess what? In a couple days, with enough water to flush your system, and eating good foods (the other type of good foods, you know, the good for you kind), and some exercise, and you'll be back down before you know it. So glad your not letting it taint your day! That is great in and of itself. Part of getting healthy and taking this journey is to let yourself have free weekends occasionally! Enjoy life girl!

tagyourit said...

I loved this post. We are so quick to hate on ourselves that we overlook what we are doing and how far we have come. Great post!

Fluffy said...

Glad your parents are OK!

Just a bump along the journey, way to pull up your boot straps. You've got this.

Stacey said...

Not perfect, but content is a great way to be. You will have ups and downs and you will get back up again. Because you are you. And you know you can do it. You will do it.

I am so thankful that your parents are ok.

Kiwigirl said...

Go You! What a great post - it's so clear that your journey has been about much more than losing weight. I really admire your strength, focus and tenacity. And, I'm REALLY glad your parents are ok.

Amanda said...

I am just reading this today!! I am so sorry to hear about your parents and at the same time thrilled at the outcome!! So glad they are unhurt!

Isn't it strange as motivators and supporters that we often forget to follow our own rules!? I know that I fail most often on that!

I am happy too. I need to remember that when I start to slide downward. I had moments this weekend where I just allowed myself to have what I wanted instead of thinking through. I know mine was hormonal and my poor husband took the brunt of it! But this week is better! I feel good, look good, and need some new underware!

Did you get new undies??