Today's post is a two-parter...the bad AND the good.
Can I just say yet again how much I HATE that weightloss (no matter how open or how reserved you are) is such a visible struggle?? Last night, I was catching up on posts (sorry for the lack of comments, but I had almost 200 posts to catch up on last night!! I did read!) last night and the lovely Fluffy wrote a post that really hit home with me. She was talking about the difference in perception between the struggles of underweight people and overweight people. For instance, a person might look at an anorexic with sympathy knowing that they just couldn't tell them to eat, yet that same person might look at a fat person with disdain and think that they just need to not eat so much. Both stuggles often stem from the same places, but they are perceived in such different ways.
I watch the show Too Fat for Fifteen and my heart just aches for these kids. I think it is possible that if my parents had the money, I would have gone to a place like that. In the episode I was watching last night, they went home for the Thanksgiving holiday and it was challenging to stay "on plan." One of the girls was given grief and taunted by her brother. He would eat in front of her and tell her he would never eat like she does...in a very patronizing way. It totally broke my heart because it felt like my life growing up. My brother & I get along now, but he could be very cruel to me when I was growing up and that had such a profound impact on my adolesence.
In a better world, that boy would be chastised for his attitude and the girl would be praised for her attempts to better herself. Instead, he is probably popular where she is bullied. I just hate that.
I think my head is getting back to normal. At Group last night, the group leader suggested that we take some time to say nice things to ourselves. Here I go...
Beth Ann, I'm so proud of you for continuing to get up each morning and do yoga. Flexibility is important and making this effort helps your body. Also, when you were shopping for a shirt at the NASCAR races, I'm glad you have a good enough self image to know that the XL shirt would be too big and got yourself a Large instead. And finally, it is good to know that you are going to continue to fight. That when things get tough and you get inside your head...you are going to blog, continue your routine, and push, push, push until you get it back together again. This new person doesn't quit and will come out even better on the other side.
Thank you ALL for sticking with me and liking ME, even during the times when I'm not so sure I like myself. It makes a difference in my life, truly. I can't wait for Chicago so I can meet many of you in person.