One of the things I decided to do when committing to my Journey 2.0 (part of the never ending quest, you know) was to read my blog from the beginning. It starts around Fall 2009 with me thinking about the possibility of LB surgery.
Last night, I read about 12 months worth...from thinking about it, to doing it, to losing 75 pounds. It was quite an interesting read. I forgot how miserable I was. I mean, logically I know that I'm not as bad off today as I was then, pre-surgery. But I have forgotten how different life is.
During the months immediately preceding surgery, I wasn't even able to Jazzercise anymore. My feet were hurting so badly that I couldn't. In fact, I was wearing anti-inflammatory patches on my feet on a daily basis just to get through a work day! I was wearing Crocs or Clarkes everyday too. It isn't like I was trying to wear uncomfortable cutsie shoes. I had totally forgotten about that. It took MONTHS for my feet to feel better enough to work out regularly without constant pain.
Also, I was sad. I hated my looks and just didn't feel well about life. Even though I'm self-conscious about the excess weight I have gained these last few months, I'm not sad or depressed. It is a completely different mindset.
I never want to go back there. I read about a lot of my activities in that first year and it made me remember how much I sacrificed. In the end, those things were no big deal, but at the time, it was HARD!
For some reason I had it in my head that I lost weight the first 9 months without really trying. Ha! I was "dieting" by the 3rd month and was starting my fitness focus by month 4. I did not eat bread AT ALL for nine months. Nine months. Day-um. Go me. It is a good reminder of what I'm going to have to do.
CrossFit was extra fun today. It was all about thrusters, box jumps and tabata drills. I can't wait to hear how Robyn & Cat do at CrossFit tonight!
Going to see Sister Act, the musical tonight. That should be fun.