40 by 40

Hi.  Remember me?  I sort of disappeared for a while.  There were a few reasons for that, but it was nice to break away for a bit.  But lately, I decided that I need to recommit to losing weight.  I need to because if I don't now, I never will.

Let's recap, shall we?  I got my LapBand in January 2010.

Through the first 11 months, I lost 79 pounds.  Woohoo!! 

During the 5 months after that, I lost another 16 pounds for a total of 95 pounds.  And boy, did I look great!  And I felt great too!

I went up and down, but basically maintained that weight for another year.  I started CrossFit and working out a lot along with eating healthy and I felt so pretty and just fantastic overall!

Then in May 2012, I decided to have plastic surgery to fix my wiggly arms and my draggy boobs.  I stopped exercising (because of the recovery) and then immediately went on the BEST TRIP EVER to the Olympics. 

By the time I got back from my trip and decided to get back into reality, I had gained 19 pounds.  Wow.  That's no joke.  Time to get it together. Except since then, I have gained another 7 pounds.  Sigh. 

I do NOT regret having the surgery or going on that amazing trip.  However, I learned a lot about myself and will make different choices in the future regarding recovery and travel.  What's done is done.

I do want to mention that I still feel good about myself.  Forgive me for losing battles with Blogger and pictures...but this tilted picture is how I look today.  This is actually me yesterday after shopping for a dress to wear for my birthday party.  What I'm fighting for now is to feel better while I'm working out (the extra pounds has made it A LOT tougher) and to just feel comfortable in my own skin.  There for a while I really felt good and I want that back.

I turn 39 on Friday and I realized that the time is now.  I stole some inspiration from a friend who vowed to lose 40 pounds by her 40th birthday and she is kicking all sorts of ass!  I decided that I was going to shoot for that too.  I went back and looked at what made me successful in the beginning and realized that for 9 months, I did almost everything right.  And then for another 6 months, I did most things right.  I finally came to the realization that nothing I am doing now is really living like I want to lose weight. 

I will enjoy my birthday weekend and then next week this goes into effect:

1. One quick rule to say that there is no going off the rails this week.  No use in gaining 5 pounds that I would just have to lose again.  Normal rules apply this week.
2. No bread.  I didn't eat bread for the first 9 months of my journey and ate it VERY moderately after that until mid-2013 which is when I started gaining weight.  Bread is my gateway food and it must stop. 
3. Limited alcohol.  No beer.  No calorie mixers only.  Limited to 2 drinks per week.
4. Log food and exercise through WW or Fitbit.
5. Work out.  CrossFit 3x, Something else 3x.  Every week.
6. Blog again.  It is one of the ways I'm most accountable to myself. 

Some things I'm doing to motivate myself:

1. I ordered some 4x6's of pictures of me at my lowest weight and I plan to put them around (my desk at work, my refrigerator, my car...) places I might need a reminder for what I'm doing.
2. I'm going to go back and read my blog from the beginning to remind myself how far I have come and how I WILL NOT let myself ever get back in that position.  And also to remember what I had to sacrifice to be successful and how it was hard, but worth it in the end.
3. For every five pounds I lose, I get a reward.  I don't know what yet. 

I'm not sure why I feel this time is different than the other 20 times I have decided between then and now that THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT.  But one time in January 2010, it WAS different.  This time can be too. 

I will lose 40 pounds before my next birthday.  And THAT journey commences on June 10, 2013.

Hugs!  :)