I was going to blog about the awesome! But WTF?

I was so excited to blog this morning. I mean yesterday I was even going through it in my head...

I was going to blog about my awesome trip to Scottsdale. It's beautiful! Our property there is gorgeous. The presentation went well. I ate totally appropriately. All in all...fantastic!

I was going to blog about how freaking crazy work was when I got back. I worked late. I worked from home. There was no time to sneak in a posting, but it was all okay because I was totally on track!!

I did wake up Thursday night aspirating from acid reflux. Obviously, no matter what, my band is too tight and I have an appointment this afternoon for a bit of an unfill. It's okay though because I hopped on the scale Saturday morning to see how I was doing and I was 3 pounds down from Monday. Woohoo! Onward!! I got this.

I was going to blog about how after Jazzercise on Saturday, BFF & I went to see a friend's amazingly talented daughter in the Nutcracker and then went to church. Then yesterday, I trimmed the tree and watched football throughout the day. Last night, BFF & I walked downtown to watch the City Lights celebration where they turn on the Dallas holiday lights and Santa flew in on a helicopter. If you squint, you can see him dangling in the picture below. Then there were fireworks off the buildings and lights lighting up everywhere and it made me so proud to be a true downtown Dallasite. I was going to blog about the spectacular-ness of it all!!

Through ALL of that...other than drinking a few drinks, I was totally okay with my eating. Plus in addition to Jazzercise, I walked almost 5 miles yesterday. I almost leapt on the scale this morning!!

But I'm' not focused on blogging about all of that. You know why? Because when I happily got on the scale this morning, not only had I found the 3 pounds I was down...I had found 2 more. What the ever-loving F*CK???

Now, I think most of you know me. I lie to myself constantly but when I come to blog, I am a face the music, rip the band aid off type of gal. I do not understand this. Not. At. All.

Here are my thoughts:

• I'm too tight and I'm unwittingly eating more than I realize because I'm consuming too many liquid calories.
• My first period in over a year caused hormonal craziness that is causing my body to do weird things.
• I'm full of crap and I'm actually eating terribly and am so disconnected from reality that I don't see it.

If it were the last one, I would own it. I truly would because what good would it do not to? I'm going to deal with the first possibility today by getting a small unfill. Maybe I can focus on eating better things? I do know that meat has been difficult lately and I have a tendency to eat mushy things. Maybe it is that first one. I guess I will find out.

I measured yesterday and compared to my measurements EXACTLY one month ago when I was 10 pounds lighter. They are the SAME. The SAME?!? How does that work? (Side note: did you catch that? I have gained 10 pounds in four weeks. And I wasn't even lazy and/or gluttonous. That is just not fair.) There is no way that I have lost that much muscle and replaced it with fat in 4 weeks. It just biologically doesn't work that way. I'm not working out enough to blame it on workout related water retention.

I think it is right in my belly. I have this pooch under my natural waist. I didn't measure that a month ago because I didn't need it for the Gwynnie Bee sizing. It does seem bigger. Not sure what that means. I googled "sudden weight gain in belly" and steroids was given as a possiblity. Is it possible that the steroids that made me feel SO amazing while working out caused fluid or fat retention? As annoying as that would be, I would at least be relieved of that explanation. But obviously, I don't know if that is the case.

I'm not really mad. Or even sad. I'm just kind of baffled. I will keep you posted.

 

I may not be successful at every step, but I will not stop working at it. I just won't.

Quick side note: I had a fantastic Gwynnie Bee dress on Friday, but I didn't get a picture. I have one from today. My hair looks crappy, but the dress is pretty cute. I like the pattern a lot. The waist band is a little odd and the pockets are stretched out, so it isn't anything I would want to buy. But it looks cute for a day at work.

 

Hugs!