I think I've become apathetic about the food side of my stool. (If you all don't follow Fluffy, you should. I LOVE her posts.) Anyway, the post that I linked to illustrates our journey as a stool. One leg is the Band, one leg is our diet/food, and one leg is exercise. My Band is working just fine and I exercise more than most people I know. So why am I not more successful right now? There is no question that the issue is 100% because of my food intake.
Every time I get into a rut, I come up with some new fabulous exercise plan. I average between 30-40 minutes of organized exercise PER DAY. Now, I don't exercise every single day of the week, but I might do 60 minutes or more in one day. I log every bit of organized exercise I do and since the beginning of the year, I have averaged 35 minutes of activity per day. I started logging my exercise about 3 months after my surgery in January 2009 (when I started getting serious about the fitness part of things) and since then I have averaged just over 30 minutes per day! I'm guessing in the year before I was Banded, I averaged more like 5 minutes per day. (Complete side note...I used to think that I worked out at least 30 minutes per day. I mean I went to 60 minute Jazzercise classes all the time, so I had to average at least 30 minutes, right? When I started actually logging my exercise, I realized that I wasn't even close to that. Between vacations, sickness and other reasons for missing, I wasn't even averaging 2 classes per week. That's when I realized that I was only averaging about 5 minutes per day and I needed to focus more on fitness.)
So, I feel like even though I have some specific fitness goals I want to meet, I do have that side of things covered. However, I feel like it is also my crutch. Even today, I started thinking about what more I could do with exercise to help with my situation.
But the problem isn't lack of exercise! The problem is food! ::deep breath:: I get so damn frustrated at myself.
In the interest of being objective as possible, I want to acknowledge that my food issues are NOT like they used to be. I managed to gain 20 pounds in the 3 months leading up to my surgery...now that was gluttony (and sloth.) And I'm not gaining weight now...I'm still on a losing trend albeit a very slow one.
I think that I could maintain without too much effort right now. Working out at a pace that I enjoy and eating how I am. I eat very well during the week, then have what I want on the weekends. I think I could maintain forever that way. And I think because I'm the smallest I've ever been, I'm getting less motivation to work harder. You know what I mean?
I have to figure out how to translate the dedication I have to fitness to my diet. Could I get another fill? Sure, I probably could. But I really don't think that is the issue. I don't think my problem is hunger. I think my problem is making excuses.
I'm not exactly sure yet how I'm going to go about conquering this. But I do know that I will work at it until I'm satisfied. I think that is the key. If I knew that I were doing my best, I wouldn't be disappointed in myself. But I'm not.
How do I go from okay/acceptable to great? I will think more on this and get back to you. I just needed to get it out.