Food
I am mostly mirroring yesterday, but instead of leftover pasta for lunch, I'm having leftover Buffaloaf and mashed potatoes from this weekend. Tomorrow will be the challenge because I'm going out to lunch AND dinner. I'm working on the inner strength to make good choices.
Fitness
I ran again at lunch today. This time I'm packed my iPod with only "good" songs. It worked! I ran the whole 30 minutes! I would want to walk and I would tell myself to take advantage of the good song and run...walk the next song. But then the next song would be good and I would do the same thing. It is amazing how you can manipulate yourself like that, but whatever works!
Fashion
I meant to take pictures preworkout, but I didn't. No Gwynnie Bee + sweaty mess = no picture. I did, however, want to discuss this article. Especially when I was bigger, I would get very frustrated that the clothes I would want to buy (like from Lane Bryant) would be worn by plus sized models that really wouldn't even (in reality) be able to fit properly in the clothes. And even if they did fit in the smallest size, it was barely representative of how the clothes would look on someone much bigger. I LOVE the idea of bigger models for many reasons, but that is a major one.
The article also brought up another train of thought for me. What is healthy? I saw this article posted on Facebook and while I try to avoid the comments, it was impossible not to see the first ones listed that were lambasting the company for "promoting an unhealthy lifestyle." That gave me pause. In the article, the model talks about working out with a trainer 4x per week and there is no indication that she eats unhealthy. Is simply being overweight mean that you live an unhealthy lifestyle?
I eat clean and avoid prepackaged food most of the time. I eat fast food about twice a year. Last year, I averaged over 22 minutes per day (EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE YEAR) of exercise and that was just what I remembered to log. My doctor gives me a clean bill of health, except for obesity. Am I healthy?
Are there people that eat better and work out more than I do? Of course! I know several. But I also know a ton of people, fat, thin and all shapes and sizes that don't. I would argue that my "lifestyle" is tremendously more healthy than most, but every single time a smaller person would be picked as the healthier person.
My point is that you can live a very healthy lifestyle and still be fat. And you can live a very unhealthy lifestyle and still be skinny. But we fat folks are always going to be judged for it. I am going to take a page from the model's book and start celebrating my body. I work really hard, damn hard, to look the way I do and I will continue to do so. But I'm not waiting until I'm an "acceptable" weight. I'm living now!
I saw this today and it spoke to me.
Hugs!
3 comments:
Hmmm. I struggle with the thought of this at least a couple times a month. I'm going to be very honest here...I find her pictures "interesting", I don't find them inspiring and they actually make me uncomfortable. Which is pretty interesting in and of itself don't you think? So it makes me take pause and ask WHY they bother me. Because I was a lot bigger than her, if she is being honest with her weight...bc honestly, she looks bigger than a size 22. And I was a size 26/28 at my highest...and there were times I felt sexy. I look back at those pictures now and I don't see sexy at all. I see gross. And please note I am just talking about me at that size. That Amy looked gross. I don't see any sexy in that Amy looking back at her. But I am thankful that for whatever reason, I DID feel like that model. Was I a happy person when I was heavier? Yes. I think I was. But I never would have said "I love my body"...or "I love my fat". I loved myself most days I think. Can you love yourself and hate your fat? This is hurting my brain. And then I think of me now. I am a size 10/12...probably around 180 pounds, and still "obese" by a BMI chart. Society would probably still say I am fat, and I would concur that I have a good bit of fat over my good bit of muscle. But I still wouldn't say I am the picture of health. I workout 6 days a week, I run 3 days a week...and my body is much improved in the health department, but the truth is...I weigh what I weigh bc I still make a good deal of unhealthy choices. And I do love my fat ass (minus the cellulite), but I wonder if I lost 40 pounds, would I look back at my ass now and think it was gross? You know, even preop, I didn't have any comorbidities. So was I healthy at 330 bc I didnt have anything diagonsibily wrong with me? I would say no. But that really brings us back around to your question...what is healthy? And shit...even after this, the longest comment in blog history, I am no closer to knowing. I need a drink...of Pepsi.
oh ps. Why in the hell did they make bracelets in toddler sizes? That is not very namaste.
I have so many mixed emotions about this. If I thought fat was sexy, then I would be much happier with my size. That being said, Sexy isn't the same as healthy. I don't think wafer thin is sexy either so go figure. I think curves is healthy for woman. But only you and your doctor know if you're healthy. I think I'll stop talking now since I'm about to talk myself into circles.
P.S. I wanted to thank you for all of your support lately. It is very appreciated!!!
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