Wednesday, August 24, 2011

An A-HA moment at CrossFit.

CrossFit gave me my a-ha moment of the day today, so I'm combining posts.  Sorry to those who have to trudge through the work out stuff.  :)

Yesterday was a nice day off exercise.  I got the Skittle some routine maintenance and work was EXTREMELY productive.  In fact, it was my favorite day of work in a VERY long time.  I love that!  I love it when I feel challenged but in control and yesterday was totally like that.  Anyway, last night when I checked the WOD, it was weightlifting and I was excited about that.  Who AM I??

I got there this morning and it was a big class for morning, about 12 of us, I think?  We warmed up with a 400m and the warm up was in the medium range of hard.  Maybe my first week or two they were just focusing on warm ups or something? 

The first order of business was working on Turkish Get ups.  Well, I had to start by learning one...  You lay on your back with a KB in one hand and basically get up, keeping the kb lifted above you the whole time.  I'm not great at them, but I can see how they would be beneficial.  I worked on both sides using 18# then 10# then 18# again. 

When it was time for weightlifting, Bach mentioned that there were enough racks for everyone to have their own.  I set up my rack and Sprinkles came over and started adjusting it with me.  It made me a little happy that she wanted to pair up even though we didn't need to.  It is nice to have made friends!

The WOD:
  • Press: 2 sets of 5, 1 max rep
  • Back Squat: 2 sets of 5, 1 max rep
  • 50 abs of choice
My press weight was 60# which was 5# more than last time.  I could barely squeak out 6 in my max rep.  But I was very happy with that.  My back squat weight was 75#.  I haven't done back squats yet, but my front squat was 65# last time, so this was a good increase from that.  I maxed out at 10 so I think I have some capacity for more right away.  Awesome!

A-HA moment of the day:  Sprinkles had started the Press rounds so when I was done with my max rep, we moved on to Back Squats.  When I was done with my max rep of back squats, I started putting things away.  It just so happened that Bach AND Butch were both watching us and they asked Sprinkles if we were done.  She kind of giggled and said no.  I totally didn't realize that I was the one that started the Back Squats so she still had her max rep to do.  Butch said, "Gah, Beth Ann, it isn't all about you."

Okay, freeze.  Butch was joking and laughing and this was just a fun, light-hearted moment between all of us.  I, however, felt a moment of panic.  All through my life, I have felt like people have been laughing at me.  Some of it was real and some perceived, but it was hard to deal with.  I think that is why I always tried to be funny...if I wanted them to laugh at me, it wouldn't hurt, right?  This moment would have sent me over the edge in the "old" days.  I was being singled out, I was being laughed at, my mistake was on display for all to see.  But today...all it took was a few moments of me telling myself that they were just treating me like one of the group and that is all I ever really wanted.  To be treated "normally".  I love working out with Sprinkles, Butch and Bach.  And I'm glad to be one of the crowd!!

I know that this probably sounds SO silly.  But it was just another reminder to me, that I have lived my life on eggshells, waiting for people to let me down...waiting for people to hurt me.  But no more!  Now I can relax and let life happen.  I can appreciate moments for what they are and not take myself to seriously. If I am happy with myself, the rest will fall into place.  Obviously, I still have room to grow.  One day I hope that these things don't even occur to me and I don't need a beat or two to put myself back in line.  It's coming though, I feel it.  It is that peace that I have talked about before.  Peace is good.

Anyway, all I had left was the ab work.  It's kinda funny because I just stood there and wasn't sure what to do.  Another thing I apparently like about CF is that they typically tell you EXACTLY what to do.  So, Bach went through some options with me and I decided to do V lifts.  You lay on your back and lift your arms and legs to meet in the middle.  I did 10 and realized that I didn't do them very well.  I had to lift my legs first, THEN move my arms up to meet them.  So I moved over to the GHD machine and did 20 sit ups.  Then I moved to the floor to do 20 more sit ups.  I had done 10 when Bach came over and asked me if I did the V lifts.  I told her that I couldn't do them right so I moved to other things.  I showed her and she said that she has to do that too and I needed to quit being so hard on myself.  Hmmm... Maybe I should listen to her.

Another day where I feel like I pushed my body to do things I didn't think I could do.  After class I realized that today was my twelfth class of the month.  I'm done for September.  No mo'.  That makes me a little sad.    But it does come at a good time because I was starting to stress about how I was going to get everything done around all my trips. This is one thing off my list. I will go back on 09/06 though and I'm already looking forward to it!!



Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

You are like Wonder Woman with the CF! Congrats on all of the strides you've made physically and emotionally!

JRD said...

Awesome work Beth Ann! It's so motivating when you realize your body can do stuff it's never done before! Keep up the awesome work!

Laura Belle said...

Has it really been 12 classes already? Jeesh how time flies! And look at all your progress! Especially with the A Ha moment! love that!

Cat said...

Hero, I cannot even tell you how important this blog post was for me. I seriously feel that way all the time. Robyn (my bff) can even tell you that I often think people are thinking negative things about me. I too am the funny one, getting people to laugh with me so they aren't laughing at me right? I sincerely hope I can reach this place that you are beginning to find. I too want to just be able to laugh through stuff and not have to over think.

Great job on your workouts. Also, how are back squats performed? If you described this one before, I missed it!

Cece said...

Peace is good ... so glad you're experiencing it!

Ronnie said...

Wow, twelve more days of no CF? But... but... :(

I love how you're growing and getting stronger not only physically, but emotionally. :)

Anonymous said...

Abdominal exercise machines have become extra affordable to the average person, who enjoys working out at dwelling rather than a gym.

Justawallflower said...

I absolutely love your a-ha moment! and yay for making friends there! I feel like I have made several acquaintences at bootcamp, and one true friend, we're even going for coffee after our saturday morning boot camp!