Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Forever

I've come to a realization over the last few days.  Actually, it has probably been coming over the last several weeks. 

**  This is forever. **

It all started when someone asked my how long I was going to CrossFit.  I guess I just started and it is new so it isn't an unreasonable question.  But if someone asked me how long I was going to Jazzercise, I would look at them like they grew a new head.  I have Jazzercised for years and I fully plan to Jazzercise until I'm 80. 

(FYI...the Jazzercise semi-annual one day sale is Monday.  And the deal is the best I have EVER seen!  Go to jazzercise.com for details and to find a location near you!)

Anyway, in the past, when I worked on weightloss, it wasn't forever.  I would join Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig, or I would join the Y or water aerobics, or I would plan out my meals meticulously...but it NEVER lasted very long.  If I went two or three months consecutively, it was a win.  Sometimes I would lose weight but most of the time I didn't.

But ALWAYS, in the back of my mind, I knew that whatever I did would only last so long and then I would "be able to" go back to what I was doing.  "If I can just lose XX pounds, then I can stop ____."  Sometimes, I made it to that goal, but most of the time (99%), I didn't.  I have been on a diet since the 4th grade and we see how that worked out for me.

Debi and I report our calorie information to each other almost every day.  It is just another layer of accountability.  Both of us confessed a little bad behavior to each other today.  But by the time we each confessed, we were already back to business. 

For me, that is what has made this whole journey different for me.  Yes, I'm annoyed that the scale won't move.  Yes, I really want to lose more weight and get into smaller sizes.  Yes, yes, yes!!

But what is truly sinking in is that it doesn't matter if I lose 50 more pounds or 5 more pounds.  I'm living my life in the way I'm going to live forever.  (At least materially.)  Maybe I won't log calories for the rest of my life, or maybe I won't work out 6 hours a week.  But I will have to be conscious of my food choices FOREVER.  I will have to be involved in activity FOREVER.  I will have to make mostly good choices FOREVER.  That is why it is SO important to figure out what is sustainable.  It wasn't realistic for me to run 3-4 times a week.  I HATE to run!  But going to CrossFit?  That is doable.

And I think I can finally admit all of this and I'm okay with it.  No more thinking in the back of mind that I will go back to my old habits.  Early morning CrossFit is here to stay, at least for the foreseeable future.  Jazzercise is here to stay.  Paying attention to what I eat?  That's right...here to stay.

I will have ups and downs.  That is part of it.  But I AM in charge of my life right now and I LOVE it!

HUGS!


17 comments:

Lap Band Gal said...

Damn skippy! There is no "finish line" on this journey. By you realizing this means that you are more likely to be successful with your weight loss and keeping it off (in my opinion). You realize that there is no way that you could go back to your old way of eating/living. :) Awesome breakthrough!

Dawnya said...

This is a great post. It's awesome that you are so accountable to yourself. It's even better that you have Debi...and you keep each other on target. I love that.

Truth on this journey is the best part. You have to tell yourself the truth everyday.

Thanks for sharing.

Debi said...

Amen! Preach it BBF!!! ;)

Andrea said...

Love this! In the past, I've always looked at losing weight as going on a diet and then losing the weight I needed to and then I would be able to go back to "normal". Sometimes it makes me a little sad to think that there is no finish line, but I know that is the mentality I have to have. Like you said we need to make choices that will be sustainable for the long haul. Thanks for the reminder!

dede said...

Great words...thanks for the post...I hadn't thought in those terms yet...everyone keeps asking me if I'll have the band removed eventually...when will you quit?? etc etc...no i'll know what to say...and I need to keep telling myself too...
thanks again
dede

JRD said...

Awesome post, Beth Ann - so well articulated. I'm coming to this realization as well, and it's not as traumatic as I thought it would be. It's actually a relief in some ways! It's not like my life was so much better when I was choosing to eat chocolate bars and chips, right? Now I feel like I have a purpose, and that although I have to work hard, there is reward, instead of the inevitable throwing of myself under the wagon wheels. You're so inspiring!!

FitBy40 said...

That's lke when my FIL asked me "how long do you have to eat like this?". My response is "until I feel like gaining all that weight back"!

Becky said...

I love this, thank you for this post! I was just thinking this as I walked around the fair today with the kids. I can eat a bite of elephant ear and one salt water taffy and its okay! I don't have to binge and I WONT, because this is forever. And forever includes the reality that I Zumba or Turbo Kick 5-6 times a week. So doing one imperfect thing doesn't disqualify me from losing weight. It's just life, and I have to learn moderation and then keep on living. This might has been a ramble... :)

Ronnie said...

I think our current lifestyles are definitely doable for the rest of our lives! And isn't that an awesome realization? :D

Cat said...

This is such an important concept and one that I think anyone with long term success needs to grasp and the sooner it's grasped, the better. I, like you, so many times before have figured I could "go back to my life" once I reached a size, or weight or whatever. None of the times did I really succeed because I thought my 125 lbs was too large an obstacle to overcome. I know now though that I'm going to live this life anyway and with the help of my band, I'm going to succeed in getting my excess weight off and keeping it off for the rest of my life. However, smart food choices and activity have to be part of my long term plan. *hearts*

Cece said...

Hi Beth Ann *new follower* ~ great post and I am seeing this as well (even though I was just banded) ... making that huge decision for WLS was it for me ... this is forever (and I'm fine with it) :)

The Cozy (not crazy) Coconut said...

The healthy you is also here to stay!! I'm so happy for you and its a wonderful realization to know that your healthy habits are really who you are now. I know exactly what you mean by the before you always knowing in the back of your mind that you'd go back to old habits. But this time it IS different, you are a different person! So inspiring!!!

greenie said...

Awesome post! Exactly how I feel. Thank-you.

Bec said...

Great idea with the exchanging of calories. That is scary and accountable all at the same time. I suck at calorie counting. Good on you.

~Lisa~ said...

Love, love, love this post - forever IS a good thing!

Justawallflower said...

Now, I'm still new at the whole boot camp thing, but I love the idea of that being a lifetime thing. I love the way I feel when I leave there. And I look forward to going. I hope this is not a feeling that gets old after a couple more weeks of doing it.

Laura Belle said...

Great post! You're absolutely right and I still keep thinking, well, maybe I can go back to eating whatever I want, once I lose this weight. But I can't! I shouldn't want to! I need to work on that.
Thanks!!