Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Obessive or Committed?

The last couple of days, I have been thinking about obsession vs. commitment.  What is the difference?  To me, the difference is this:

Commitment:  sticking with something, sometimes with sacrifice to a goal that positively affects your overall life.

Obsession:  commitment to the point that your overall life is affected negatively.

The thing is, that even these exact definitions mean different things to different people. 

I read a blog post (yesterday?) that got me thinking.  After losing an impressive amount of weight through Lap Band surgery (and hard work), the poster decided that she wouldn't be obsessed about food and fitness and she would live like a "normal" person.  Nobel quest, I say!  Unfortunately, she found that didn't work for her and gained some of her weight back.  This hit me so hard yesterday because I (so many of us) did the same thing.

In our quest to be "normal", we abandoned what made us successful.  We backed away from our commitment.  At least, I did.  I'm SO very proud of her for recommitting, because it would be so "easy" not to...pick your hard though, right?  I told Laura Belle yesterday that failure isn't messing up, failure is not getting up and trying again.  I truly believe that.

I have a few people in my life that have made some comments (very possibly with the best of intentions) that I'm too obsessed about food.  If I wasn't always thinking about what I was going to eat next, then I wouldn't be so hungry and my body would naturally do what it needs to do.  As I lost weight...almost 100 pounds...I started to believe that too.  After my plastic surgery, I just started living.  I didn't obsess.  Oh, maybe every whip stitch, I would pretend that I was going to focus, but I didn't.  This went on for about a year and one day, I looked in the mirror and realized that I was tumbling right back into that place from which I came.  I had gained 30 pounds.  30 pounds.  Sigh.

What I didn't realize at the time was, it wasn't just the 30 pounds.  I had lost muscle, so the real damage was even worse.  I made a promise to myself that I would do better.  I recommitted.  For six months, I did okay.  I stopped the bleeding, and managed to lose about a pound a month.  At the beginning of this year, I started focusing on a more paleo diet and refocused on fitness.  Now I feel that although I'm not perfect (who is?), I'm on a sustainable plan.

By being committed (or being obsessive?) I have lost a few more pounds and more importantly, over 11 inches.  I'm starting to see myself, that person I found but then lost again.  I still have a long way to go, but even though it is hard, I like myself more when I'm committed.  Beyond that, I think I'm more likable when I'm committed.  Certain people in my life might not understand why I have to pay SO MUCH attention to food, but that's okay.  I know, in the end, it will make my overall life better.

Today's Nutrition:
Breakfast:  coffee with cream (2 servings today)  Veggie & cheese fritatta. 
Lunch:  BFF's meatloaf & sweet potato with Laughing Cow
Snack:  mixed nuts
Dinner:  BFF's meatloaf (I forgot to defrost something.  Thank goodness the meatloaf is awesome!) with stir fry veggies
Snack:  Apple with almond butter

Today's Fitness:
CrossFit:  check! (more below)
Lunch:  Leisurely pace on the bike while I read.  (Honestly, this is more to make time for reading than for working out, but it doesn't hurt!)

Today at CrossFit, we had a quick warm up and then worked on handstand walks.  Or in my case, I kicked up on the wall a few times.  I will just need to lose some more pounds before I can do anything with a handstand. 

Then we did Presses.  Bascially, you do a press, then lower the bar halfway and then push it up again.  Last time I was able to do 90#, but I had to lower it to 85# today.  I have definitely lost strength and I'm going to focus on getting that back.

The actual workout was interval style, meaning you rest as needed between rounds.  3 rounds:  500m row, 15 kettlebell swings (35#), 30 double unders (or in my case 90 singles).  It took me around 20 minutes.



~Miss Lorie~ said...

I could have written this post. I take responsibility for my gain of 30 pounds, but you know what triggered it? My friends and family told me I was losing too quickly, that I was obsessing and that I needed to give my body a break. The truth? I was finally almost at a healthy weight and I loved the way I looked and felt. Now I have to start again, and I just haven't found my commitment yet. 30 pounds up.... ugh. I don't like it one bit. Please know I am not blaming anyone but myself, but I just can't live "normal" with food.

Sarah Kopf said...

My family uses the "O" word all the time. I make sure that they know that this is a commitment. Over the winter, I too kind of reverted back into old habits. Twenty five pounds later I could kick myself in my own tail. The trek back down is on- but still. Frustrating. The reason I gave in on my commitment? The O word. My family griping about my obsession and how I needed to relax. That relaxation kept me on the couch downing junk... When it comes to one's health, they need to figure out where the line is between obsession and commitment- but it's sure not for someone else or peer pressure to decide.



KajunDee said...

I prefer to think of it as a living healthy, something you can't do just "sometimes"

JRD said...

Preach it girl! I have a sneaking suspicion that blogger is me [blush!], but I agree with everything you said here. I could have written it! We are all works in progress and must find what works for us - WHATVER that is. You do you, lady - hugs!

Vanessa said...

Agree! 35 pounds up here....but back on track and getting it done. :)
I'm so grateful to have my blogger buddies - its nice to not be alone. You always inspire me!

Mel said...

Just had a conversation about this with my husband the other night. His fear is that I will become obsessed with going to the gym (I just kicked it up a bit). We kept going back and forth about how I felt that I needed to do this and that it wasn't taking over my life, but in his mind & fears that is what was happening. I am going to share this post with him and hopefully it will help him to understand.