Friday, March 7, 2014

Shut Your Mouth

I get anxious sometimes.  About silly things.  Yesterday, something happened at work and I was anxious about it all afternoon, evening, through the night, and this morning where I sit now with it still on my mind.  The weird thing is that the anxiousness CANNOT be coming from this issue.  It is a total work issue where I'm correct and my boss totally agrees.  I'm not even sure if anyone else disagrees, but I got questioned on it and it triggered this anxiety.

Honestly, I wouldn't even mind that much, but when I'm anxious, I tend to act out by talking.  I was watching the show Chicago Fire and one of the lieutenants said to the new candidate "shut your mouth" and she kept talking.  So he responds "quit talking" and yet she doesn't.  "Why are you still talking??"  "Stop talking."  It took her a while to get it.

I used to be more of a talker than I am now.  I know that a lot of the talk came from this anxiety which I used to have much more.  After finding peace with myself several years ago, I allowed myself to relax and with that came less talking.  Plus, BFF is a talker, so often I become more of a listener in the conversation.  I feel that I have become a better conversationalist and person, really.  However, when these anxious moments come up, I just can't shake them.  And I keep talking about it.  So far this morning, I have brought it up with my parents, my boss, my boss's boss, and a coworker.  Good freaking grief.  I'm done talking about it.  Why can't I be anxious about normal things anyway? topic.  I had my first accidental Facebook visit yesterday.  It was totally by accident and obviously just from habit.  I managed to close the window before it even fully opened.  Day 2, people...ha!

It is Day 3 of Lent and in addition to successfully staying away from FB, I have logged my food.  I have it logged for today, now I just have to stick with what I said I would eat. 

Breakfast:  coffee with cream.  Double fritatta.
Lunch:  mac and cheese cup, boiled egg, babybel
Dinner:  seafood steampot

It is meatless Friday, so BFF & I are going to a seafood place for dinner tonight.  Hopefully it won't be too crowded.  She has given up alcohol for Lent, so it should be easier for me to forego the drink with dinner as well.  Tomorrow & Sunday will be the key.  I have to keep reminding myself that my commitment, first and foremost, is to log what I eat.  If I go over my calorie allotment for the day, then at least I can own it.

CrossFit was crazy today.  The CrossFit games have started and it is the Open part of the competition where people are participating from all over the world.  This morning, several people at my box did the 14.2 work out to participate in the Open.  It was a complicated workout:

* Must complete in 3 minutes:
10 OH Squats
10 Chest to Bar pull ups
* If completed, you get 3 more minutes:
12 OH Squats
12 Chest to Bar pull ups

And so on until you can't complete a round.  If you have some time to kill, you should watch this.  These ladies make it look so easy.  I assure you, it is not.

For comparison, I scaled it to 6 reps each and used a big giant band to assist with regular pull ups.  I made it through the first 2 rounds in 3 minutes...barely.  I did a third round and only got in a few more OH squats before the 2nd 3 minutes was up.  It was chaos in the gym.

This weekend should be fun and not too busy.  Tomorrow I'm helping out the fire department while they do smoke detector checks around the neighborhood.  On Sunday, BFF and I are going to a play.  Should be fun! 



Sarah Kopf said...

Okay. Yeah. I watched the video and I would DIE. For reals. You'd have to just use your spatchula to scrape me up off the mat...

Thinking of you today. LET. IT. GO. You'll thank yourself for it. :)



Connie O said...

That's right: Take a deep breath, stop worrying, and move on! Now, if only it were as easy to do it as to say it. I have a lot of trouble with obsessive anxiety myself, so I understand how hard it is to let go of those things.

CrossFit never looks easy to me. It scares me, and I am a great admirer of anyone who does it!

Cheri said...

I can relate to the anxiety thing - and talking thing - too. I think it's great you can see the progress you have made in relaxing in the big picture, however! (And I'm wondering what play you are going to Sunday - hope you tell us later.)

Anonymous said...

I too relate to the anxiety. I now give myself 5 minutes or 30 minutes to obsess, then I try to move on. Works most of the time. And don't forget giving up FB can bring out some underlying anxieties or lead to others. Hope you enjoye your night out with BFF .

Sandy said...

Well that was weird--my comment came up as anonymous but it's me Sandy. Google has been acting strange on me since an upgrade last week.

FitBy40 said...

I have anxiety a lot too, but not like you've described here. Mine is usually me being terrified that something bad will happen to my kids. I can't let them ride in a car with anyone but me and the hubby, and even then, when they are with him, I'm a bit freaked out at times. I think I need meds!
I always try to say worrying doesn't help anything, but I'm not always good at listening to my own advice! said...

I've been reading your blog for years but I don't comment. That was an apology long over due. Now I can stop feeling anxious about it. Ha ha
I like Sandy's rule and I made a pack with my hubby to shut up about the office (we work and commute together ) when we pass a certain street. After we pass the sign we start talking about something else and leave work behind. Tracey