Growing up feels good.

As you all know, I'm headed to Indianapolis this weekend for a random trip to meet up with my sorority sisters that I haven't seen in around 15 years.  YAY!  To give you a little history, in college, I wasn't planning to join a sorority.  When I finally did, I wasn't going to join this sorority because I was a legacy.  I was very insecure and I was afraid that as a legacy, I would be seen as a "token" of some sort.  But when I went to the rush parties, I clicked with the girls and it was the best sorority on campus.  So I accepted their bid and became a proud and lifelong member.

My junior year, I lived in the sorority "house" with my sorority mom (who was my best friend at the time), another random girl, and the Barbie twins (two beautiful blondes not related).  Now it turns out, the Barbie twins weren't only beautiful, they were great girls.  They were very popular in the sorority, but we remained tight as well.  Throughout college, probably mostly because of my insecurity, my feelings were often hurt and I felt left out.  By my senior year, I had ballooned up to 250 and I certainly didn't look the part of sorority girl.  My friends stood by me, but I always felt inferior.  Again, in retrospect, I think it was more my lack of confidence than anything anybody did TO me.

When the girls came up with this girls night, I decided it was time to see everyone again.  The last they saw me, I was probably in the 230 range and not feeling great about myself.  So, I thought it was time to give them something new to remember about me.  :) 

Last night, one of the coordinators (Queenie), sent out an email summarizing who was coming and some other details.  My name wasn't on the list, but another Beth Ann was on the list.  I wasn't sure if she got us mixed up or if she forgot about me.  I emailed (just) her back and confirmed I was coming.  Soon after, another sister I didn't know so well (Eyelashes), emailed and asked if she meant Beth Ann Me or Beth Ann X because if Beth Ann X was going to come all the way up from another state, then she would be so excited!  Heh.  At warp speed, I flew back to college and became the whiny insecure fat girl that just got her feelings hurt.  I mean...I just spent a ton of money on a plane ticket, hotel & car.  :(

I pouted for just a brief moment and then said BOLLOCKS!  I reminded myself that Queenie most likely made an honest mistake.  There are two Beth Anns for crying out loud and our last names even start with the same letter!  And Eyelashes & I weren't super close.  From what I remember, she was as sweet as pie and she probably doesn't even realize that I don't live in the area.  So, I sat up straight, threw my shoulders back and emailed everyone back, confirmed it was me and that I couldn't wait!  Eyelashes responded that she couldn't wait to see me and then proceeded to Friend me on Facebook.  Independently, another girl who was on all of the emails sent me an email saying how excited she is that I'm coming so we can catch up. 

So, there you have it.  The new me is happy to be going out for two girl's nights this weekend and didn't let a stupid little thing get in the way of that.  I know that this probably sounds so silly, petty, and stupid, but it was a good example of how the old me would quickly fall into a rabbit hole, but the new me is solidly on terra firma.  It's a good feeling! 

Before I leave you, I thought I would add the (slightly fuzzy and strangely demonic) picture from Cowgirl's birthday dinner on Saturday.  KK is the one giving her a kiss and BFF & I are in the back.  I just love these girls.  :)

This is so small, but I'm pretty sure I can see my collarbones.  If it is just a shadow...I don't care...that's my story!!

Oh and one last thing...I actually got up and did yoga this morning.  YAY!!  Getting up early is very hard for me so this is a big one.  Now let's see if I can get myself to do it again.  :)

HUGS!!