Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Am I being bad? Or am I being normal?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Weightloss has been a lifelong struggle for me as it has been for a lot of people. In order to lose weight, I had to sacrifice and deprive myself of so much in order to be successful at it.

It has been a challenge this year to completely change my perspective. Although weightloss is my primary goal, I want to enjoy my life as I live it. However, this week, my body seems to be rewarding itself for bad behavior.

I had a fill last week and after a 1/2 pound gain the week before, I lost that plus and additional 4 pounds! I felt strongly that a lot of that was water weight and dehydration that would be put back on. But I got to this week and I'm still losing.

Monday, I didn't work out at all. I had a work lunch and a work dinner, both at delicious restaurants with richly prepared food. On Tuesday, I ran a couple miles at lunch, but I had a decadent dinner. Both nights I also had a drink before dinner and coffee with cream after dinner. Yesterday, I had TWO Otis Spunkmyer (aka HIGH CALORIE) cookies at lunch and finished off the leftovers from Monday night. I did work out, but I finished the night with BOTH ice cream AND two pieces of dark chocolate. All of that and I'm still down over a half pound since Sunday.

Today we are having our Thanksgiving pitch in at work. There will be casseroles and carbs galore! I plan to enjoy it. :smile: I know I tend to be conservative when I log calories. I will put down the calories for the entire serving even if I didn't eat all of it. Or I will put down calories for 1/2 if I eat more like 1/3. I figure there are always hidden calories I miss, so I want to be conservative. However, I wonder if I am being more conservative than I realize. Am I getting so used to eating smaller portions that I don't need to "pad" the numbers so much?

I know that my mom is constantly making comments about me "eating all that food". I think I talk about what I eat as if I ate it all and maybe I even have that in my head, but in reality I didn't. I told her this morning that I had a bagel for breakfast yesterday, but I actually had half a bagel and I don't think I even ate the last 2-3 bites. There is a big difference there.

I guess it comes down to my concern that suddenly I will wake up tomorrow up 4.5 pounds higher which would make me sad. My scale is telling me to keep doing what I'm doing, but my head is yelling at me that I'm not sacrificing enough to be this successful and it will all come crashing down.

I will enjoy our pitch in lunch today, but then I will also work myself out like crazy at Jazzercise. Maybe that isn't bad/nuts/indulgent...maybe it is just normal. I guess only time will tell!!

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