Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Close thy mouth.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I have been so excited over the last few days with my renewed committment. That is great! However, with my new excitement, I have been talking about it A LOT and I noticed that a friend of mine's eyes started to glaze over a bit. HA!! I'm not at all upset because she is SUPER supportive, but it does tell me that I need to close my mouth and show...not tell. :thumbup: That is what my blog is for!!

My fill went well yesterday. I typically go to the fill doctor, but yesterday my surgeon was the fill doctor. He did a great job! He told me that I looked very close to my sweet spot and he only added 1/10 cc. I told him that is what the other doc added last time and it really made a difference for about 7 weeks, then it just seemed to drop off. He is quite concerned about over-filling and I appreciate that. I told him I have been having acid reflux at night due to my allergies and I think that added to his concern. Hopefully this darn ragweed will go away soon and I can get back to normal. He also told me that I will not need to get a COMPLETE UNFILL for my tonsillectomy. His first reaction was that I wouldn't need to get any taken out, but then he thought about it a few seconds and said that I probably should, but half would be appropriate. That sounds good to me!

It is always interesting to me to listen to the other people getting adjusted. Fills at my doc are cattle calls. We are given time frames and then first come, first served. We are checked in and moved to a holding area where we wait for the procedure then return to that area post-procedure to drink water. I like the system and it gives people a chance to discuss the band with otheres. Kind of a mini support group...

I really do try not to judge, but it amazes me how differently people approach this process. There was a very sweet girl talking about eating dinner rolls at a restaurant and knowing it will make her sick and she says that she still does it. Over and over. She said that she has a love affair with food. She also says that she doesn't exercise, but I can't remember if she said why. It made me a little sad because if getting sick or having physical pain isn't a deterrant to bad choices, then I think she is going to have a really tough time. She is a super pretty girl that has about 150 pounds to lose. I truly hope she finds a good support group and something that can help her move forward.

My scale was down 2.2 pounds this morning. I know that isn't REAL weight loss for one day, but I don't care. Today, I'm going to strut around like I'm 2 pounds lighter!! HA! I have on a sassy White House/Black Market shirt that I bought several years ago when I was last small. I think it looks really nice!

Yesterday, I had two NSV moments. (They sure do seem to be flying at me from everywhere at the moment!!) First, I was talking to a friend (who also struggles with weight, but not nearly to the extent that I have) here just about everything. I told her that I'm just giddy from feeling so good the last few days. I feel like I have gotten a TON of compliments and things just feel so awesome. She said that she thinks that I crossed the threshhold from being fat to being "normal". I think she might be right. For a long while there, I was losing weight and it was noticable (and great!) But going from a size 24 to a size 18, while absolutely EXCELLENT is not something that is really understood by "skinny" minded people. Now that I have moved into "normal" range clothing (even though I'm still a fat person in my head), people see me as "normal" and that they recognize. Does that make sense? I think it will take a long time for me to adjust my thinking as I discussed in my entry yesterday. But I get that other people may not need that time to adjust.

The second NSV...I was walking out of work yesterday afternoon. As you go out to the parking garage from my building, there is a wall of mirrors that you face as you turn a corner. For so long, I would cringe or avoid looking at that wall of mirrors. Yesterday, I looked right at myself and I didn't cringe. I have a long way to go before I think I'm hot (ha!), but it is so lovely to be able to not hate my reflection.

No comments: